Chasing An Angel

Larry was a sophomore in college. Like many college boys, he was very interested in women and felt that his living in New York would change his luck with girls.  Larry had grown up in Cleveland, Ohio and had spent his high school years at an all boys school.  This made the attractiveness of girls skyrocket as he had been deprived of them for so long.  Although it had started to wear off, it hadn’t worn off fully.  One day, Larry was hanging out with his friend Janilsa that he met at college.  Although they were close, they were plutonic friends.  Janilsa invited Larry to see a movie, to which he agreed.  When Janilsa told Larry she was bringing one of her friends, Larry wrote it off.  He had no illusions of it being a date and thus far everyone Janilsa had introduced him to, he got along with.  At 6’0” 160 lbs, Larry was scrawny.  This made him not very desirable to the opposite sex that was attracted to muscular large men.  The girl that Larry was introduced to, Samantha, made him seem large in comparison.  At 5’5” 97 pounds with tanned Puerto Rican skin Samantha would be called ‘Petite.’  Despite her Puerto Rican descent, it appeared only to affect her skin complexion as she did not have large breasts or a big butt.  Larry later found out that her dad was Polish and only her mom was Puerto Rican.  Although Larry became infatuated with Samantha on that day, Janilsa quickly pointed out that he didn’t have a shot because Samantha had been dating the same guy for years now.  Larry was respectful of this but Samantha noticed that she had an admirer in Larry.

                Early on in life, Samantha realized how easily it was for females to manipulate men. When she saw Larry, she liked him.  Larry was skinny, unshaven and dressed like a scrub, which Samantha found attractive.  Most of the people she knew made fun of her for her preference in men but that was what she was attracted to.  Since those types of men always considered themselves lucky to be with a girl that looked like her, she could easily manipulate and control them.  She loved that power.  Yes, she had a boyfriend but that didn’t mean she couldn’t tease other men a little bit. In a lot of ways, Samantha was like a geisha.  She always wore sweaters and jeans even in the sweltering New York City summer heat.  This meant any slight skin she exposed gave men notice.  She was faithful to her boyfriend but she liked teasing guys giving them hope that they had a chance to get her to cheat, but she knew she would never do that. She had been hanging out with Larry and Janilsa a lot now and it was nearing the end of April.  She knew that Larry had memorized her birthday as May 10 from past years and he was hoping to surprise her with a birthday phone call.  She decided to raise the stakes and see exactly what she could make Larry do.  When she met up with Larry and Janilsa, she asked Larry casually, “Would you strip for me for my birthday?”

                Larry immediately agreed thinking it would be funny.  It had been two years since he met Samantha and had already given up on her and her boyfriend breaking up.  Their mutual friend, Victor, decided he’d host this “birthday present.” On May 10, Samantha, Janilsa and Larry went to Victor’s house and Larry prepared himself for the present.  He took a shower and Victor gave him some trimmers.  Larry had never shaved down there before and didn’t really know what he was doing but he left some and tried to make it look neat which was far from Larry’s specialty.  Victor chose the music.  Janilsa’s fiancée was with them but when the time came, he ran to the bathroom because he didn’t want to see this.  Janilsa closed her eyes because she didn’t really want to see Larry like that either.  Victor and Samantha watched intently as Larry stripped.  He stopped at his boxers and asked Samantha if he wanted him to go full way. Samantha said yes so Larry did. Larry had no rhythm but he kind of danced around to the music as he stripped nude.  He walked to Samantha to give her a lap dance but she adamantly refused.  When the song was over, Larry got dressed and Samantha didn’t really have a reaction either way.  Surprisingly the rest of the day went rather normally and wasn’t awkward at all between Larry and Samantha. 

                Samantha very often hosted poker games at her apartment.  On this night, Larry had come over with a friend and Samantha had Victor and her boyfriend there with her as well.  Victor would get her boyfriend really drunk, which was against Samantha’s rules she had placed on him.  A while back, her boyfriend got stabbed in her Greenpoint neighborhood trying to cross through the park late at night so he was understandably not very comfortable in the otherwise nice neighborhood.  The train station was a 20 minute walk from her apartment and after the game, Samantha offered to drive Larry and his friend to the train.  Samantha was very vocal about her disappointment that her boyfriend got that drunk.  She constantly berated him for it to the point that on the way to the car, her boyfriend tried to kick her in the behind but missed and fell on his back.  Samantha immediately took her boyfriend’s car keys and the spare keys to her apartment and got in her car with Larry and his friend.  She said, “I’m not driving you to the train, I’m driving you home, where do you live?” Larry gave the directions; it would be about an hour round trip, which meant that her boyfriend would be sitting on the curb until Samantha came back.  Larry took this as a cold heartless act on Samantha’s part even though he was vehemently against men hitting women.  To him, Samantha should have just dumped him when he sobered up for trying to hit her rather than leave him in an extremely vulnerable position late at night in a neighborhood he’s been stabbed in with no escape. He couldn’t go back to her apartment, nor could he hide out in his car.  He was basically a bum on the street until Samantha came back.  This was the exact moment that Larry got over his infatuation with Samantha.  If Samantha could do that to her long time boyfriend that everyone thought she was going to marry, what would she do to others?  Larry made it a point to never be that drunk when alone with Samantha.  After a while, Larry realized that Samantha never believed any of her actions were wrong.  As a psychology major, Larry saw the signs of what he knew to be the characteristics of a sociopath.  From this day forth, he would consider Samantha a sociopath despite sparse evidence to the contrary. 

                Shortly after the birthday stripping, Samantha moved to Florida.  She had never really liked living in New York and felt that she was better suited in Florida where her parents had a house.  During her time there, her older sister Natalie started getting lonely.  Natalie was bipolar, which got her disability benefits but also made it hard for people to remain friends with her as she was very flaky and lashed out a lot. She asked Samantha for Larry’s number.  Samantha had invited Larry over to play poker in the past and that’s how Natalie vaguely knew him even though she didn’t play with them. He seemed like a nice enough guy so she called him to hang out.  Larry wasn’t opposed to the idea so he started hanging out with Natalie.  Since Natalie was unemployable and lived alone in an apartment in a building her parents owned, she called Larry a lot to hang out but he didn’t really mind, it added excitement to his day because Natalie was like no other girl he’d known.  Since he had a bipolar sister, he knew how to handle Natalie, basically don’t let her get too close.  Over the years, Natalie would go through spurts where she would pretend she wanted to get a job and make something of herself.  Larry always knew that this would never last as she was lazy and saw no motivation to ever get off disability.  Like many of his generation, Natalie always blamed her parents.  She would tell Larry that her parents wanted her to stay on disability and didn’t support her working.  Larry never fully believed this but decided to have fun with this.  One day, Natalie was at Larry’s apartment and told Larry she wanted him to motivate her to get a job.  Prior to this, Larry had tried flirting with Natalie but like most of the time, it never went anywhere.  It hurt more because Natalie told him that he was the only guy she associated with that she hadn’t hooked up with.  When Natalie proposed this, Larry made up a calendar in which if Natalie was not employed after a month, she had to take her shirt off and Larry would get to caress her augmented breasts.  Natalie agreed and a month later, Natalie didn’t have a job.  Most guys would have pushed the envelope and asked for sex but Larry was never that bold with women, which was probably his biggest problem.  Although now, Larry’s sex-drive was severely diminished after he lost his virginity at 21 and it was extremely disappointing to him.  She let Larry fondle her breasts over her bra but cut him off after a couple seconds.  Larry thought to protest but he was a man of principle and he never specified how long.  In the back of his head, he was amused because he was kind of paying Samantha back with what he was doing with Natalie.  He had already seen naked pictures of Natalie.  On one occasion at Natalie’s house, she told Larry about the pictures on her computer and when Natalie left the room, Larry e-mailed them to himself.  This, obviously, made Natalie more appealing to him.  Larry made up a calendar where every week Natalie was unemployed, Larry would get to do something else with her sexual in nature.  Nowhere on the list was sex or a blowjob as Larry didn’t like either.  Natalie was appalled by it and didn’t agree.  Again, Larry never pushed it.

                Years after the bet, Larry was hanging out at Natalie’s apartment.  It used to be that Natalie hid her addiction to marijuana around Larry but now she would light up in front of him.  She had been smoking marijuana daily for longer than she could remember.   At first, Larry was bothered by it as he associated a particular unpleasant incident between her and Samantha due to a lie Natalie told while high. He soon realized that Natalie being high was merely a coincidence as she always was.  Although Larry didn’t smoke, he didn’t mind when others smoked around him.  At this point, Larry was Natalie’s only friend so she invited him over at least three times a week.  One night, Larry was sleeping over and Natalie was going to a club with her cousin.  Larry hated clubs and said he’d just stay at Natalie’s apartment while she went to the club.  Natalie returned in the middle of the night extremely intoxicated.  She stumbled in and ran into the table in the kitchen, which is where the entrance was to the apartment.  Although Larry is a heavy sleeper, he was awake when this happened and got up to help her.  Natalie was wearing a black halter top dress.  Whether it was due to her inebriated state and unsteady feet or other means, her halter top could not hold her breasts inside her dress.  This was the first time Larry had seen her bare breasts and he wasn’t opposed.  He naively thought Natalie would make her way to her bedroom and sleep in her bed while Larry slept on the pull out bed from her couch.  Natalie threw herself at Larry and lied on the bed.  While Natalie was falling, Larry positioned his hands so that her breasts collided with them on the way down.   Larry was a black and white objectivist, to him, this counted as second base (up the shirt).  He long decided that he would never have a sexual relationship with Natalie but was unsure of his will power if Natalie came at him naked. Larry got up and took a pot from her kitchen and brought it near the bed.  Sure enough, Natalie threw up into it.  Larry would be sharing a bed with Natalie tonight.  At 105 lbs, Natalie was still really skinny.  She was about a half inch shorter than Samantha but Larry had put on a lot of weight since college.  It was a good thing because Natalie had trouble staying on the bed and Larry would have to catch her with one arm and pull her back to avoid falling to the floor.  Then Natalie took her cell phone and called a guy in Long Island, where she grew up.  Unlike the girls that had a crush on Larry growing up, Natalie wasn’t very subtle.  When the guy answered, Natalie said, “Come over, I want you to tear apart my pussy.” 

                This normally would be shocking but Natalie had done it several times while drunk around Larry.  At first it pissed Larry off because she would be at his apartment when saying this so why not just have sex with him?  But now, Larry didn’t want to so he just put up with it.  To him it was a fascination that despite how frequently she made these phone calls, not once did the guy come.  Larry never thought guys would turn down an attractive girl who was so blunt about wanting sex, but they did.  This night, however, the guy was making the late night trip from Long Island.  Larry had no idea what he was going to do but he wasn’t going home.  When the guy got close to Brooklyn, where Natalie lived, he called her.  Natalie told him that she was throwing up.  The guy offered to take care of her but Natalie was noncommittal and hung up the phone.  Moments later, the buzzer was going off in Natalie’s apartment.  It was an extremely loud buzzer and annoyed the shit out of Larry.  Natalie had changed her mind, given her current state; she no longer wanted to have sex so she just ignored the buzzer.  The man incessantly called Natalie annoying Larry enough that he grabbed Natalie’s phone and shut it off.  Larry contemplated going downstairs and telling the guy that he beat him to the punch but he didn’t know this guy and given his incessant buzzing, didn’t seem like he’d be so easily deterred after making the journey from Long Island at 3:00AM.  Somehow Natalie’s parents on the bottom floor (Natalie lived on the third floor) woke up and went to the front door of the building to tell the guy the bad news.  He left and left a final voicemail on Natalie’s phone to never call him again.  Finally, Larry could get some sleep.  He had shared a bed with Natalie a few times before so didn’t think it odd.  He never touched her previously and he wouldn’t tonight.  Unbeknownst to Larry, Natalie would always think they hooked up this night and it wasn’t until years after that Natalie asked him. 

A couple years later, Natalie had gotten married to a Polish immigrant so he could become an American citizen.  Larry was the only male that her husband didn’t have a problem with Natalie hanging out with in his absence. Since he worked six days a week, he was absent a lot.  Natalie would call Larry to come over after work so she would have company for three hours until her husband came home.  Most people thought it was weird that her husband trusted Larry with his wife alone but Larry didn’t.  It had been happening to him throughout his life.  Several times growing up he heard, “You’re the first guy I let my daughter hang out with” and “You’re the only guy I trust my girlfriend around.”  To him, it was kind of an insult.  Mostly because, they were right.  Larry rarely did anything sexual in nature with the daughters and girlfriends but he never could understand how everyone knew this about him.  He was and always would be a nice guy no Tomer how much he fought it.  He also was extremely bad at picking up on women’s hints that they wanted him to make a move.  Several girls in his past had told him all the hints they left that he just missed but Larry never learned. 

                One day, Larry was hanging out with Natalie when Natalie asked him for money to buy weed.  Most of Natalie’s disability money went to marijuana so this was the first time she ever asked Larry.  Larry refused because although he didn’t mind her smoking, he wasn’t going to enable it.  Natalie begged him, which Larry just saw as pathetic.  Natalie then started kicking Larry lightly trying to coax him into doing it.  Finally Larry had an idea, he knew many people addicted to marijuana but none of them he knew to be so desperate, they would exchange sexual favors for it.  Even in the movies, they never had a character that would turn tricks for weed.  This is why he was fairly confident that when he said, “I’ll give you the money if you make out with me” that Natalie would say no.  Sure enough, Natalie feigned shock and said, “I’m married.”

                “Okay, then I’m not going to give you the money.”

                The comment did nothing for Larry.  Larry knew that Natalie had cheated on her husband and committed adultery several times.  A short while later though, Larry was unprepared for what would happen as Natalie said, “Okay.”

                “Okay what?”

                “Okay, I’ll kiss you if you give me money for weed but how long?”

                Larry was too stunned to even react.  He never thought she’d agree but he considered himself a man of his word.  This was one of the rare occasions that Larry had cash on him.  It was also a rare occasion he had a cigar on him.  He had received three cigars for Christmas the previous year….that was nine months ago and they had been in his fridge ever since.  Natalie asked him to bring them over.  At this point, he had yet to smoke it.  He stuttered and said, “I don’t know 10 seconds?”

                “Okay fine”

                Larry kissed Natalie; at first she pulled back but then she kissed him back.  Larry had more sexual tension with Natalie than any of his other female friends and wanted this badly.  The fondling her breasts over her bra or the night he got to touch them briefly while bare were not enough for him. He had multiple debates with guys he respected about whether it was wrong if you were single to hookup with a married woman.  The reasoning he’d get was some sort of guy code rule.  Larry didn’t much care for guys or their rules; this is why most of his friends were girls.  Others quoted the Christian montage that you wouldn’t want someone doing it to you but Larry didn’t put much stock in that.  When Natalie cut him off, Larry very much doubted it was 10 seconds but he didn’t care.  That was the most awkward kiss of his life and he felt disgusting afterwards.  He gave Natalie a 20 from his wallet and lit up his cigar.  Natalie went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.  Larry had vodka and seven up already and dipped the cigar in the drink to streamline the alcohol into his bloodstream.  Larry now knew that even though he couldn’t vocalize it, there was something seriously wrong with hooking up with a married woman.  Larry would never know if it was the cigar being dipped into a mixed drink rather than pure alcohol or because of how disgusting he felt with what he did or a combination of both but he got up and ran to Natalie’s bathroom and threw up.  After a couple hours, Natalie asked for another 20.  Larry refused.  Natalie offered to kiss him again for it.  Larry looked at her incredulously apparently that run to the bathroom to brush her teeth was an act.  Larry told her it was really awkward and Natalie had agreed but now Larry doubted if she did. He said, “Natalie, I’ve been smoking a cigar and I threw up, you really want to kiss me right now?”

                Natalie seemed to actually think about this and said, “No, not really but I want more weed.” 

                Larry started to realize just how obsessed she was with it.  He knew she would pay him back so gave her the money.  Somehow Natalie’s mom found out and texted him to not give Natalie money for drugs.  These texts came often and Larry always ignored them.  Natalie was 2 years older than Larry and well past the age to drink.  She was an adult and could make her own decisions.  The fact that she lived in her parents building with pretty much free rent may be an argument to the contrary but Larry would not be a babysitter to someone older than him.  Of all the times he came over, how did her mother know that this time he gave her the money for the weed when Natalie always bought it previously?  He texted back, “I almost never have cash on me.” 

                That was a true statement, but it was misleading.  Larry prided himself on trying not to lie, but he often used these ambiguous statements to mislead people.  Natalie’s mom took the bait and left him alone.  When Natalie paid Larry back it was in front of Samantha.  She told Samantha it was because Larry won a bet and Samantha scolded Larry for making such a high stakes bet.  It was $40 as Larry gave her money twice after the kiss.  If only Samantha knew what Larry did before the $40.  The money was the least of her problems.  After that, Larry just refused to give Natalie money for weed. Deep down he wondered how far she would go but realized he didn’t have the conscience to test it out.  All he thought of was the movie Half baked when Bob Sagat was condemning Dave Chappelle for being in rehab for marijuana.  Bob Sagot talks about giving a blow job for cocaine.  Then a black man from the crowd asks, “Have you ever sucked dick for weed?”  To which Dave Chappelle responded, “No, I can’t say that I have.”

                Larry was beginning to think that Natalie would give a blow job for weed but Larry would never test that Larryry.  A couple years later, Larry was hanging out with Natalie.  Natalie wanted to go to a movie and Larry agreed.  They took the subway to the theater and were prepared to go.  Natalie was infamous for changing her mind even on route to a place. Larry long knew that it didn’t count until you were actually there.  Sure enough, Natalie turned to Larry and said, “I want to go home to smoke weed, let’s see a later showing.”

                Normally Larry would agree and just be amused but now he wasn’t.  He said, “We’re already here, we might as well just go and if you go home to smoke weed, we won’t see the later showing because you will get tired and go to sleep.”

                “No I won’t”

                “Yes you will, I know you.”

                “How much do you want to make a bet?”

                Larry hesitated for a little bit and said, “You don’t like my bets.”

                “That’s because they’re always sexual”

                “I know.”

                After walking a little bit Natalie asked, “Okay, what’s your bet?”

                Larry considered himself asexual but he always had one fantasy. That was to take a tequila shot off a woman’s ass.  He got one girl to agree but she backed out at the last minute citing a period.  Larry hadn’t met the girl before she agreed but when he did, he was glad she backed out.  She wasn’t attractive but still the desire lingered.  He told Natalie, “If we don’t see this movie, I get to take a body shot off your ass.”

                Natalie asked him to explain what that meant and Larry explained it to which Natalie said, “Well that’s easy.”

                Larry was beginning to think that he really was more prude than he thought.  To him, this is the furthest he would ever go with these sexual bets.  Natalie said, “What happens if I win?”

                “Name your terms.”

                “You have to give me $20”

                Larry chuckled, this was a bet where he had very low risk.  “Fine” he said and they headed back to the subway.

                Larry would end up winning the bet on a technicality.  They went to the theater but it was sold out.  When they found out it was, Natalie proclaimed, “You won the bet.”

                To Larry it was a push but he would accept his victory.  He went home happy to have won the bet.  Two days later, Natalie went to Florida to visit her sisters for a week.  Larry had already paid for Samantha’s ticket to Vegas a couple months from now with him and was worried Natalie would tell Samantha about their bet, which would make Vegas awkward.  While there, Natalie texted Larry, “So, I decided I’m not going through with the bet.”

                Larry responded, “What? You talked to your sisters and they told you not to?”

                Larry asked this to find out if Natalie had told them not if he was right.  Natalie responded, “I didn’t tell my sisters, they would hate you if I did.”

                Larry got his confirmation, she didn’t tell them.  Shortly after Natalie returned, Larry and her were hanging out by her apartment. Natalie said, “Let’s buy some Malibu rum and go to your apartment, I feel like drinking.” 

                This happened often and Larry knew what it meant. Natalie would have at most one drink and then use his apartment so she could hit on guys without her husband knowing.  Larry said, ‘Okay, I’ll buy a bottle of tequila too.”

                “Why are you buying Tequila?”

                “I like Tequila”

                Natalie would ask multiple times why Larry bought the tequila on the way to Larry’s apartment but Larry wouldn’t admit the real reason, which Natalie knew.  Natalie went anyways, she knew she could control Larry.  When they walked in, Larry said, “So, are you going to honor your bet?”

                Natalie smiled and said, “No”

                Larry expected this and said okay and poured the Malibu and pineapple juice for Natalie and made one for himself as well.  Natalie stuck to her form hitting on a guy, getting denied and sleeping over Larry’s.  Although she had shared a bed with him, lately she had been taking the couch. She claimed it was out of respect for her husband but she didn’t show that respect in other forums.  Larry never pushed anything, wherever Natalie wanted to sleep was okay with him.  Natalie did relay to him that her sisters told her Larry was not a friend to make a deal like that.  Larry inquired that he thought she didn’t tell them and Natalie confirmed she didn’t.  Larry decided not to point out the contradiction, and just see if it became an issue in Vegas with Samantha.  About a week after this Larry was talking to his mom.  Larry very rarely spoke with his parents as they still lived in Cleveland and Larry never felt very close to them after deciding to leave the family business a little over five years ago.  Natalie called Larry and Larry just assumed it was because she was bored because her husband wasn’t home so ignored the phone call.  Natalie would call several times and Larry ignored them just for sport now.  He liked the idea that he was being obsessed over.  He finished his conversation then called Natalie back.  In the back of his head he had a feeling Natalie was coming to his apartment.  Natalie had never come over without getting a hold of Larry before but somehow Larry knew that the obsessive phone calls meant Natalie would just show up.  Sure enough, when he called her back, Natalie was three blocks away from his apartment. Larry let her in and sat to watch tennis’ French open.  Natalie said, “Do you want to come over?”

                Larry knew the translation was, “I want to smoke weed and I can’t in your apartment.”

                “No, I’m relaxing here, you’re already here, just make yourself a drink, I still have the Malibu and pineapple juice.”

                Natalie protested but Larry nonchalantly denied her and focused his attention on the TV.  Natalie then said, “What do I need to do to get you to come to by apartment?”

                Larry turned to her and said, “Oh you know the answer to that.”

                “The Tequila shot thing?”

                “Yup”

                “No”

                “Fine, then I’m staying here.”

                “Okay fine, but you can’t put the shotglass in my ass.”

                This was more than acceptable to Larry.  To Larry, it was about the licking the salt off the butt, not grabbing the shot glass being held in the butt hole.  Natalie retracted and said, “But I have granny panties on”

                “So give yourself a wedgie.”

                “Can I stand?”

                Larry thought about it and decided that it may affect the salt from staying on her butt so declined her.  Natalie agreed and Larry got up, got a shot glass and a salt packet and turned to see Natalie with her pants barely pulled over her ass spread eagle with both bare butt cheeks staring back at him.  Although he had seen it from the pictures, it was much cooler in person.  He bent down and licked her left butt cheek, opened the salt packet, poured it over the area he licked and then licked the salt off, reached to the shot glass on the table filled with tequila and took the shot.  He resisted the urge to slap Natalie on the butt and retreated.  Natalie didn’t move and said, “You can do it again if you’d like.” 

                Unlike the kiss, Larry thoroughly enjoyed this.  He didn’t need to be told twice.  He bent over and this time got his lips and more of his tongue on her right butt cheek. He was fully committed this time. Again, he poured the salt, licked it in the same manner as he had to moisten it and turned to take the shot not realizing he forgot to pour another one in his angst.  He poured the shot and took the shot. Natalie got up, pulled her pants up and Larry got ready.  Larry hid his excitement and they went back to her apartment to watch movies.  After a couple drinks and a movie, Larry went back home.  He started to feel queasy and although he wasn’t really intoxicated he threw up. He was beginning to see a pattern, every time his lips touched Natalie he threw up.  He knew then, he was done with these bets.  He already had gone the furthest he was willing to try.  Natalie did tell him that although she thought the bets were fun they had to stop.  Larry agreed but knew in the back of his mind that Natalie had said this before and if she ever didn’t have money for weed, she’d offer. Larry was confident that if that happened, he would decline.  He was done with doing things sexual in nature with Natalie.  He only wished he could be as forward with girls he actually liked as he was with Natalie.  He did love being single but he would be happy with the notion that he could get back in the game if he wanted to.  All evidence pointed to the contrary though. 

 

                In November of 2012, Samantha was coming to New York.  She did this about 2-4 times a year and she always set up a poker tournament at Janilsa’s house, which Larry always attended.  They had maintained their friendship throughout the years.  At first, Samantha didn’t like that Larry would drink with Natalie since she believed it interfered with her psychiatric medication but after a while she didn’t care.  This trip, however, was a sad one.  Her ex-boyfriend, the one she had dated in high school through college before breaking up shortly before she moved, had OD’s on  heroin.  She was coming up for the wake and funeral and invited people out for drinks as she was in the mood to get drunk.  Larry came and bought her a drink. Larry’s best friend had died shortly after his 18^th birthday and he remembered when a girl whom he knew but wouldn’t call a friend bought him a soda.  The gesture meant a lot to him, in fact, probably more than his friends that tried to cheer him up.  It was the idea that this girl barely knew him, they only went to the same church and Larry played basketball with her brothers and was close friends with one of her close friends. The only reason they were at the mall where she worked was because Larry was with her friend and she wanted to visit. Larry doubted Samantha would have the same reaction to Larry’s gesture.  After all, Larry was a friend and Samantha loved going out to dive bars and getting guys to buy her drinks.  The same night Larry was out with Samantha, he got news from his mother that his sister-in-law’s water broke.  Larry started drinking more in celebration and got extremely drunk.  Janilsa took him to her house and he spent the night as he had many times before.  Although Larry was up early, he forgot what time he said he’d wake Janilsa up.  Luckily, Janilsa got up in time to get ready and go to work. In the back of Larry’s head, he thought that this was the first time since that poker game at Samantha’s house that he let himself get that drunk alone with Samantha.  He wrote it off as Janilsa was there so he wasn’t alone but he knew where Janilsa’s loyalties lied.  Larry and Janilsa were close but nowhere near as close as Janilsa and Samantha.  If Samantha wanted to hurt Larry, Janilsa would let her.  On that night, Larry told Samantha he would visit her in Florida in January or February.  Larry tried to always keep his word so now he had to do it, though he didn’t really want to.  He looked at dates and found the cheapest time to go was February 1-3.  He confirmed with Samantha that it was okay and went to Florida.  Although Larry had visited Samantha in Florida before, this time was different.  Samantha’s ex-boyfriend’s death seemed to trigger something in her. For the first time since Larry had known her, Samantha showed vulnerability.  This made Larry open up and be less guarded too.  Although Larry had fun shooting guns and hanging out with Samantha and her younger sister, Larry’s favorite part of the trip would be standing on a pier overlooking the gulf of Mexico near Sanibel Island talking to Samantha as the sun set. She talked about her ex-boyfriend’s death and Larry talked about his best friend’s death.  Larry felt more relaxed than he had in a very long time.  The first night, they slept at Samantha’s sister’s house. Larry was beginning to think Samantha didn’t trust Larry alone with her.  Larry asked her this up front but Samantha denied it.  The last night, Larry slept at Samantha’s house confirming that she was not afraid of being alone with Larry at all.

                When Larry returned home, his friend called him about their annual poker trip.  His friend informed him that he would be inviting his cousin along. Larry had gone to Pittsburgh with Tom (his friend) and Tom’s cousin the year prior and it was ugly.  Also, whenever Larry and Tom and invited someone on their Vegas trips one or both of them turned against him. Larry decided he’d invite a friend too; he called one of his friends he grew up with in Arizona and Samantha.  His friend in Arizona said he’d be moving back to Cleveland so doubted he could go. Samantha said she needed the money.  As Larry was convinced Samantha was good luck for him after a string of good fortune when he returned from Florida, he offered to buy her ticket, which Samantha willingly accepted.  A couple months later, it was time for Vegas.

                Samantha would be arriving in Vegas at around 1AM.  Larry, Tom and Tom’s cousin Fredo had gotten there the day before and went to Sedona and Flagstaff for hiking before hitting the Grand Canyon for sunset and heading toward Vegas.  Since Tom likes stopping every hour, they didn’t arrive in Vegas till after 2AM. They had already left a key for Samantha so she was in the room ready for bed. Luckily she was awake when the guys got there because their key wasn’t working for some reason.  Even though Larry had paid for Samantha’s ticket he was very outspoken about how worried he was about if she would mesh with Tom and Fredo.  Everything told him that she would but he was still nervous.  Samantha had told him a couple months back that she would never share a bed with a guy that she wasn’t dating.  Since there were only two beds, Larry would have to sleep on the floor since it was his fault Samantha was there in the first place.  He thought this was unfair, Samantha was by far the smallest person there, and she had a free plane ticket to Vegas but Larry had to sleep on the floor.  Samantha was lucky the three guys she was rooming with were gentlemen.  The guys decided to go gamble but Samantha had been traveling for 13 hours so she just wanted to sleep.  Larry walked over to Samantha and in a voice so only she could hear said, “Do you still have this ‘no sharing a bed with guys you’re not dating’ thing.”

                Samantha said, “No, and pointed to a pillow at her waist and said, “Pillow barrier.”

                Larry nodded his head, he couldn’t care less if there was a pillow between him and her; he had no plans on touching her anyway.  After gambling for a little bit, the guys went back to the room and went to sleep.  Larry realized that Samantha gave him no room with the pillow barrier and only his side was on the bed but his arms had to rest on the night table.  He knew Samantha to be a heavy sleeper but he didn’t dare move the pillow barrier.  He was just happy that after tonight, he could say he slept with Samantha.  By extension, this meant that he could say he pulled off sleeping with sisters as he had slept with Natalie too. 

When morning came, Larry was unsure if he fell asleep.  He seemed to watch the hours tick by but there was a two hour gap he didn’t watch the clock. He was unsure if he slept or was just day dreaming that long.  He took a shower and got ready.  By the time he was ready so was Tom and together they played poker and blackjack. While playing, Larry couldn’t seem to get into gambling mood. Something was wrong, he did this every year but he felt like he was just going through the motions.  He realized that he was thinking about Samantha.  He was unsure if Samantha would be mad at him for leaving her alone in a room with Fredo.  For years, Samantha would talk about her fear of rape.  Recently, she informed Larry that this was just an act for her high school friends that would always come over to play poker at Janilsa’s house when Samantha came back to New York.  Larry kind of surmised this based on her agreeing to be in a room with three guys.  So, if she really wasn’t afraid of being raped, then she shouldn’t be mad leaving Samantha alone with Fredo but he was still worried.  Fredo called Tom and they met up to walk around and tour Cesar’s which was across the street from Harrah’s where they were staying.  Now, Samantha was alone in the room but Larry still didn’t feel right.  About an hour later, Samantha called Larry and he gave her directions to walk across the street where they were.  Samantha refused to use the overpass Vegas set up because it was not the most direct route.  She exclaimed, “I’m not an ant, I can walk across the street without getting hit”

Larry felt it was comical when women got on this kick about how they’re adults. The “Ant” thing was new but he penned it into the same category.  Men didn’t care acting like boys because they were secure with themselves.  Women who hated being called girls or doing things because others do them was a sign of insecurity to him. After they met up, Larry felt his entire body relax. 

They walked around for a while and even though Samantha was a professional poker player, they didn’t play any poker.  Samantha was trying to get wireless connection to see her funds in her bank.  One ATM didn’t work at Walgreens, which made her nervous.  They sat at a café in Planet Hollywood as she desperately tried to search the internet but had trouble connecting. She finally found out that she had money so she took out $300 and sat down at a Paigow table.  Larry sat with her and ended up having to pretend to play because Samantha liked playing two spots but the table didn’t let her.  So Larry occupied one spot and had Samantha tell him what to do while playing with her money.  Samantha went up about $100 before losing everything; she spent a little over an hour at the table.  Tom and Fredo watched for a while but left.  Larry couldn’t understand it but he loved sitting with Samantha and watching her gamble.  He just felt relaxed.  He also realized that Samantha was a typical gambler, either win hundreds of dollars or lose everything.  Larry never understood this mentality; he’d take a nominal winning from a table and just leave after he saw the table start to turn.  He always heard the logic, “I want to play with the house’s money” but Larry looked it at as, “I want to put the house’s money in my bank account, once I win, it’s not the house’s money anymore, it’s mine.”

Larry balanced the dichotomy of wanting to play and making money very well.  To him, gambling wasn’t about the money, he enjoyed it, and the money was an added bonus.  If however, he had fun, and he was winning, he’d leave and find another table.  Samantha was like all the other gamblers.  After losing in Paigow, she played 3-card poker and lost quickly.  With her remaining 10 dollars she played casino war, and lost in her very first hand.  After walking around a little more, they decided to go downtown to watch the NBA finals.  Samantha was a big San Antonio Spurs fan and Larry hated Lebron James so was also routing for the Spurs against Lebron’s team the Miami Heat.  They decided to take a bus to downtown because Samantha didn’t like the TV’s at the MGM grand.  Tom entered the bus first and sat down, Larry sat next to Tom, which made Samantha sit in an open seat and Fredo sat with her.  During the trip downtown, Larry was vocal with Tom how he was worried Fredo was going to hook up with Samantha because she and he were having a conversation on the way down. Tom told Larry that he already knew what Larry was not figuring out, Larry likes Samantha so before the trip told Fredo Samantha was off limits. Larry denied that he had feelings for Samantha.  He rationalized it as, “I paid for her ticket here and she hooks up with someone else, that’s just wrong.  It’s the principle of it.”

In the back of Larry’s mind a voice asked him several questions.  Ones that included, “If you chose to sit with Tom, why are you mad that Samantha is talking to Fredo when you forced her hand to sit with Fredo?” and “If you don’t like Samantha, why would you care if she hooked up with Fredo?”  He ignored those voices because he liked being single and asexual.  They finally arrived downtown.  It took a while but they found a good place to watch the game and Tom and Fredo lasted till halftime before going off to do other things as they weren’t basketball fans.  After the game, Larry and Samantha walked around.  They had just installed a zipline down Freemont Street and Samantha was thinking about doing it to conquer her fear of heights.  Larry said he’d talk her through it.  While there, Samantha said, “What are your friends’ names again?”

Larry smiled.  Not so long ago he was worried she was hooking up with him but now that she couldn’t even remember his name, Larry put those fears aside.  It’s just that for the last year or so, Samantha was very horny every time Larry saw her and the Samantha he knew was very stand-offish and not sexual at all.  He told her their names and then focused on talking her through the zip line.  Samantha ended up going through with it but made the mistake of telling the guy she was nervous so he threw her down the line.  Afterwards, Larry found Tom at a blackjack table and started to play.  This was the first time he was gambling with Samantha beside him.  Larry caught the luckiest streak of blackjack he had had in years and at a five dollar table, won $75 dollars.  Samantha asked Larry for $50 so she could play.  Larry gave it to her even though before the trip, he told himself he would not give Samantha money to gamble.  Samantha went up in the beginning, paid Larry back his money and then lost her profits.  They went back to the hotel and went to sleep.  This time Larry made sure he had room and definitely fell asleep this time.

The next morning went the same as the first, Larry and Tom got up early and Fredo and Samantha met them later.  Larry played poker and lost $50.  Again, Larry didn’t feel right until Samantha showed up.  He went back to the room and heard Fredo say, “Alright, I’ll be waiting outside.”

Larry used the key to open the door.  The entire trip back, he thought he would walk in on Samantha and Fredo hooking up. He tried to spin the comment to how this would confirm but it was kind of a stretch. He walked in and Samantha was in the shower with Fredo waiting outside.  Larry’s conspiratorial mind came up with that they just hooked up and now Samantha was showering but even he didn’t think that was likely.  Larry ended up hanging out a lot in the room with Fredo and Samantha watching TV.  They had been up the previous night talking till 5AM.  They met up with Tom and hung out in Vegas.  Larry noticed that he spent a lot of time in McDonalds and the hotel room just BSing with Samantha.  In McDonald’s because it was the only place that had free wi-fi.  What shocked Larry more was that he loved it.  Normally he hates hanging out in a hotel room and having the people he’s with sleep so much but then again, he’d been to Vegas before, he’d seen everything so didn’t mind if he spent time not touring Vegas. Really, he just loved Samantha’s company. 

                Larry played a poker tournament with Tom and got eliminated before him so went back to the room to watch TV with Samantha.  Fredo was roaming around the casinos.  Larry sat on separate beds with Samantha but when Fredo came back, Larry jumped at the chance to switch to Samantha and his bed.  Larry realized that he just wanted an excuse to be closer with Samantha.  Tom came back briefly after he had been eliminated but then left again, he didn’t want to spend his Vegas trip in the hotel room.  Larry asked Samantha if she brought her bathing suit because he really wanted to go to Cesar’s pool and Tom didn’t have the complexion for it.  Samantha said ‘yes,’ but Larry never followed up with why he asked the question.  That night, Tom was going to do his tradition with a first timer in Vegas and walk the strip with a beer in hand.  Samantha and Fredo had seen a movie at the Rio and walked there, which is further than it looks from the strip.  She was worn out by the amount of walking she did so she decided not to join them.  Larry finished the beer near Circus Circus and when Fredo and Tom went for another one, Larry refused. Tom asked if he was feeling okay, and Larry said no. He didn’t feel right again and this time he wasn’t deluding himself why.  Part of him wanted to blame the $1 Michelob’s but that wasn’t it. He felt bad for leaving Samantha.  He wanted to be with Samantha.  He took the room key from Fredo and power walked back only to find Samantha asleep.  He got ready for bed.  This time he pushed the pillow barrier back so he had room to sleep.  He was getting bolder every night.  He slept next to Samantha thinking, “There is no place I’d rather be right now than next to her asleep.”

                This was a weird feeling.  Larry normally hated sleeping on vacation.  Why did he need to be with Samantha if Samantha was sleeping?  He couldn’t explain it or he just didn’t like the answer.  He woke up the next morning and found a woman’s razor in the shower.  Larry was infuriated. He knew that Samantha only shaved her legs when she was going to hook up with someone.  Her shaving her legs proved to him that she was hooking up with Fredo.  He got ready and went down to get breakfast.  He brought it back to the room but Samantha, Fredo and Tom were still sleeping when he finished. He lied fully clothed next to Samantha and daydreamed. He kept telling himself to calm down, that he didn’t have proof of anything.  Samantha and Fredo had invited him to the movie, he said no.  But to Larry, that’s how it happened; they saw a movie, went back to the room and hooked up.  Larry knew that Fredo wasn’t Samantha’s type.  Samantha liked them scrawny.  Fredo was the largest of the three men there.  He did have the beard and scrubby clothing thing going for him though. Still, it didn’t really compute objectively, but Larry wasn’t very objective right now.  Samantha got up and got ready and opened the door. Larry told her he was ready too and would go with her.  While daydreaming, Larry kept telling himself to leave, go to Cesar’s pool, or play craps. He had planned before the trip that when everyone went to bed, he’d play craps all night but he never did it.  He decided that, he would rather be here with Samantha while she slept than ditch her for the allure of Vegas that brought him back every year.  In the elevator, Larry asked Samantha if she shaved her legs, which in Larry’s language meant, ‘Did you have sex with Fredo?’

                Samantha shook her head no and seemed perplexed by the question.  Larry said, “I found a razor in the shower, it didn’t look like a man’s.”

                Even saying it, Larry thought it was pretty weak.  Samantha responded, “Well I may have taken it out but I didn’t shave my legs.”

                Larry said okay and left it at that.  They played poker and Larry won confirming that Samantha is good luck for him. Samantha lost everything on an all-in bluff that was called.  This was the day Larry was leaving.  Samantha had one more day in Vegas.  Tom and Fredo woke up and they met up and went blackjack table hopping.  Larry did very well with Samantha sitting with him.  Larry decided to try playing craps.  Larry had been to two craps table and won marginally at both.  His craps strategy seemed to be working. The point of it is you expect losses in the beginning but then you rebound.  As Larry hit the starting losses, he realized he was the only one at the table so he left down $238.  He relayed the story to Tom and Samantha then played some more blackjack. 

                When they left the blackjack table, Samantha offered for them to play craps.  Samantha had never played craps before but she knew Larry wanted to.  Larry looked at his watch and realized he only had about 4 hours to play before he had to catch his flight, which he didn’t think was long enough to play out his strategy. Given that he hadn’t fully played out his strategy yet this didn’t make much sense.  Samantha found a crowded table since Larry said that’s what he liked and told Larry to play. Larry obliged.  Samantha randomly ran into someone she knew and started talking to him.  Larry, as the strategy suggested, lost $300 of his $400 buy in pretty quickly.  When it was Larry’s turn to roll, he turned to Samantha who was conveniently finishing up her conversation.  Larry said, “Good, I need her now.”

                Larry asked Samantha to blow on the dice but she adamantly refused because she didn’t want to be blamed if she had a bad roll.  Larry urged her and tried to tell her nobody would blame her but she was adamant so Tom said, he’d blow on the dice.  He did, Larry rolled a crap so they lost their pass line bet.  Larry told Tom, “You’re done, get out of here.”

                Tom just smiled.  It seemed to confirm Samantha’s fear but if Samantha had blown on the dice, Larry never would have scolded her.  As the dice moved around the table, Samantha decided she wanted to play.  Larry gave her $50 so she could.  Samantha already owed Larry $75 from blackjack but Larry didn’t mind.  His whole plan of not giving Samantha money to gamble was history since day 1. He did notice that Samantha played very good with his money.  Since Samantha was now a player, it meant she had to roll.  She turned to Larry and said, “What do I have to roll?”

                “Seven or eleven”

                “If I do bad, will everyone be mad at me?”

                “Not really, they’ll sigh but nobody will yell at you.”

                Samantha rolled a couple sevens and eleven’s before hitting a point number.  Larry turned toward her and said, “Now sevens are bad”

                “And what else?”

                “Just sevens”

                “Oh so all I gotta do is not a roll a seven?”

                It was a little more complicated than that but Larry didn’t want to get into it, for the most part, that was right. So he said, “Yes.”

                “Well that’s easy”

                Samantha started rolling and she wasn’t hitting sevens.  Samantha asked Larry, “What happens if I throw the dice off the table?”

                “You have to roll again.”
                “Will everyone be mad at me?  Does it happen?”

                “Yes it happens all the time and no nobody will be mad at you.”

                “Okay”

                Samantha kept rolling. Although Larry has seen people bounce the dice off the table, he’s never seen someone miss the table completely. Twice Samantha hit the same guy in the chest who didn’t mind because he was making a lot of money on Samantha’s roll.  Most shooters in craps when they are hot and throw the dice off the table scream, “Same Die” meaning they want the dice off the floor to roll for superstitious reason. Larry yelled “Same die” when Samantha missed the table and Samantha asked him what it meant.  After Larry explained it, Samantha said, “I don’t care about the dice, give me new ones, I’ll still get hot.”

                New dice didn’t cool down Samantha.  She kept hitting number after number.  Larry started betting on more numbers, which was a deviation from his strategy.  He had only deviated twice since he developed his strategy and both times the next roll was a seven.  This time would break that streak.  Samantha kept the hot streak going.  After a while, Samantha turned toward Larry and said, “When I finally roll a seven, will everyone be mad at me?”

                “No, you made them a lot of money, there will be a sigh then everyone will start cheering you.”

                After a while everyone at the table took a $5 chip and threw it at Samantha.  Larry laughed and saw Samantha turn toward him.  Larry had never seen this before but said, “Pick up your money.”

                Since Samantha was wearing a Milhouse T-shirt from the Simpsons, people were calling her ‘Milhouse.’  The guy that Samantha hit with the dice kept telling her, “Don’t think just roll.”

                It would rain $5 chips one more time before Samantha eventually hit the seven and the table reacted exactly the way Larry said they would.  What happened next, Larry had never seen before.  Everyone passed their roll so that Samantha could roll again.  When Samantha picked up the dice, everyone cheered.  Larry looked at his chips and realized that he was barely above his starting point, meaning he made up the $300 he lost and then some.  Samantha gave Larry back the $50 he lent her as she made money on her roll too. Samantha turned toward Larry and said, “If you kill this table, can we forget about the $75?”

                “Samantha, you had a good roll but I was really down when you started, so I don’t know.”

                The real answer was no, but Larry thought if Samantha was in a bad mood, she would lose her good luck.  Samantha snapped back, “I said if you killed it, damn you’re greedy!”

                Larry rolled his eyes.  To him it was a principle thing, he lent her money, she said she’d pay him back, he expected her to do that.  He didn’t explain this though.  He said, “I’ll match what they’ve thrown to you so $10, you’re down to $65.”

                Samantha said nothing and just threw the dice and picked up right where she left off.  This time she only made it rain $5 chips once.  The guy that Samantha hit said to Larry, “You never told me your girl could roll.”

                “Yea I did”

                “No you didn’t man”

                “Why do you think I wanted her to blow on the dice?”

                “Nah, but you didn’t specifically say she could roll.”

                “Alright man”

                Larry knew that he didn’t even bother to correct the man who referred to Samantha as his girl.  He had a lot of female friends and didn’t like having to explain to people they were just friends to which people replied girls and guys can’t be friends.  One guy ran around from the other side of the table and backed up Samantha’s pass line bet with his own money since he didn’t think Samantha was betting enough. Larry told Samantha if she rolled one of two rolls, he’d call it even with the $75.  Samantha rolled a few more times then asked what the two numbers were again.  Larry knew that she had already lost the opportunity for one, so told her the only number she could hit.  It would give him $75 so technically he’d only break even since he would not be receiving money from Samantha.  It took Samantha two more rolls to hit it.  Larry started jumping up and down in excitement saying, “You hit it” over and over again before calming down and telling Samantha they were even.  Finally, Samantha rolled a seven and again everyone passed it to her, but this time she did the worst thing you can do in Craps.  Larry then rolled and got hot.  Nobody made it rain for him but they did all pass.  Samantha wanted another shot and didn’t pass to Larry but again did the worst thing you can do.  She cried out, “Alright, I’m done.”

                Larry picked up the dice and started rolling.  He got hot again and someone told him they’d make it rain if he hit the point for the third time.  Larry didn’t realize that that would mean everyone got paid $250 to 1 given a certain fire bet that Larry had never heard of.  When someone finally told him about it, he got kind of nervous and rolled a seven within two rolls.  Now he knew why the guy was telling Samantha, “Don’t think just roll” they all had a fire bet on her the second time and they laughed all the way to the bank.

                Larry placed $800 in his pocket.  No Tomer what, he’d leave the table up $400.  He still had $250 on the table.  He would end up losing that and decided to leave the table.  All in all he won $825 since he miscounted the amount he put in his pocket.  He cashed out, packed his stuff and said bye to Samantha, Tom and Fredo and headed to the airport confirming that Samantha was his good luck charm. He only lost one table with Samantha sitting next to him.  The problem was in the mornings he gambled without Samantha and lost.  Overall, he was up $72.

 

                Two weeks after Vegas, Samantha was in New York.  Larry was invited to a 4^th of July barbeque at her parent’s apartment. When there, Larry apologized to Samantha for leaving her alone when he went on the strip walk with Fredo and Tom. Samantha was so not bothered by it, she told him she didn’t even remember what he was talking about.  Larry learned that on Samantha’s last day she went to the pool with some random guy she met.  Larry was bothered by this because that was one of the reasons he invited Samantha, to go to the pool with him but she never did.  Then Larry told himself he had to calm down because he never asked Samantha to go to the pool with him.  His way of asking was, ‘Do you have a bathing suit.’ He couldn’t really blame Samantha for not taking that and running with it.  Larry later realized that Samantha never said she was in a bathing suit at the pool, She said they sat by the pool in the shade.  He decided not to get a confirmation because the answer may hurt him.  He really was trying to deny that he liked Samantha but it was becoming painfully obvious his old feelings were back. While in New York, when Larry saw Samantha, it was not like it was in Florida and Vegas.  Samantha didn’t feel relaxed and Larry didn’t feel as relaxed around her.  He attributed this to Samantha not being comfortable around her parents, namely her dad whom she didn’t get along with.  This was confirmed when Natalie invited him over and told him that Samantha slept at a friend’s house who was out of town because her family stressed her out.  Larry concluded that he liked Samantha but not in New York, that means that if he wanted to be with her, he’d have to leave New York.  This would have been out of the question a year ago but the way everyone was so image-conscious in New York was beginning to bother him.  Samantha’s time with Larry in New York was reminiscent of how it had been between them for the past 6 years, no spark, nothing but Larry couldn’t divorce how he felt around her in Florida and especially Vegas.   On one alone moment between Larry and Samantha, Samantha told Larry that she was an angel.  To which Larry chuckled and teased her about it.

                Natalie invited Larry over. For the last month, since Samantha went back to Florida.  Larry was contemplating if he wanted to leave everything and go to Vegas with Samantha.  Samantha was planning to move to Vegas. Larry said he never could because although he loves the heat, he needs water and the beach.  Then Larry thought about it and he really only made it to the beach once or not at all the previous 11 summers in New York.  This summer he was doing a good job going every weekend but clearly he didn’t need it. He got his beach fixes by traveling in past years.  San Diego and LA were only a 3 hour drive away.  Larry took an hour and a half subway to the beach now.  He knew Samantha didn’t like the beach but even if they lived together, he didn’t have to be with her 24/7. Larry’s parents had a great relationship and his father hated the beach while his mother loved it, so it can work.  He also didn’t think Samantha would mind if like once a month he took off to the Pacific coast.  Samantha had told him that the way she treats guys she’s dating is night and day different from friends.  Larry hadn’t seen this except for how she dictates their lives.  Samantha demands her men don’t smoke or drink.  Meanwhile Samantha drinks on occasion and smoke marijuana every day claiming it helps her appetite, which Larry doubted highly.  To Larry, it seemed like she ate more when she wasn’t high every day. Larry didn’t smoke cigarettes or marijuana but he had about three cigars a year. He hadn’t purchased a cigar since he was 18; it was always someone buying one for him. Usually they stayed in his fridge for months until there was an occasion to smoke it.  Larry could easily give that up.  The not drinking socially, he didn’t feel comfortable doing.  As he made the check list in his head it bothered him that he had to give up New York and drinking whereas Samantha didn’t have to give up shit.  Larry liked her for the way she was.  That didn’t seem fair but relationships are rarely fair to the guy.  It also occurred to him that although he was her type in college, he worked a white collar job now.  Sure, he still dressed like a scrub after work but when he was in work clothes he was clean shaven and in a shirt and tie.  He also didn’t think Samantha liked guys financially independent. Her past boyfriends were poor and Larry thought Samantha liked that they were dependent on her.  He thought it gave her a sense of security they wouldn’t screw her over.  Really, her high standards and demands drove them crazy and away from her. Larry couldn’t help but feel like Richard Geare in Runaway Bride you see a girl running from the altar then you date her and get surprised when she does it to you.  Samantha was manipulative and he couldn’t understand why he was making excuses for her now.  He decided to test the he and Samantha Larryry with Natalie knowing that everything he told Natalie would go straight to Samantha.

                When he got to Natalie’s apartment, he smelled the familiar smell of marijuana.  He walked in, made himself a drink and sat down.  They made small talk for a while and then Larry asked, “Do you think what we’ve done would ruin any chance I had with Samantha?”

                Natalie seemed shocked by the question.  Larry had told Natalie on several occasions that even though they hang out a lot, Larry liked Samantha more than her.  Natalie held out hope that when Natalie invited Larry to dinner with their parents after work, Samantha was going out drinking with her mom and Natalie was going back to her apartment and asked Larry to pick.  Larry picked Natalie because Natalie was the one who invited him there in the first place and last time Larry went out with Samantha and her mom, he spent two hours listening to her try to convince her mom to divorce her dad….it was extremely awkward. Natalie said, “We haven’t done anything”

                Larry highlighted the stuff he thought was not insignificant and Natalie said, “Why do you always bring that up?  Those were bets, they don’t count.”

                “So no”

                “No, but Samantha lives in Florida.”

                “I know”

                Larry didn’t know if Natalie would stand in the way of Samantha and him but he had to have that conversation.  Now it was time to talk to Samantha.  He decided to make another trip to Florida, this time he’d pour his heart out…at least that was the plan but his trips never go according to plan.

                Larry coordinated with Samantha a weekend for him to go to Florida.  While there, Larry decided to just go for it.  He was talking to Samantha and said, “Could you ever date a guy that wasn’t skinny?”

                “Hmmm I don’t know, I’m skinny mini, I don’t want him to crush me.”

                “Well you could be on top”

                “Yea, but what if we want to switch it up?”

                “A guy can support himself on his arms, I mean, even your past guys outweighed you, you’re not even 100lbs.”

                “True, but they can’t be too big.”

                “Like what? Am I too big?”

                “Yea, you got a little bit of a gut to ya so maybe skinnier than you.”

                “And you still have this no smoking or drinking thing.”

                “Yea, I want them healthy”

                “Even though you drink and smoke weed every day?”

                “I rarely drink and I need the weed to eat.”

                “That’s not what you said, you said no drinking period. And I don’t buy the weed story, when you lived in New York, I saw you eat whole value meals at Burger King.”

                “Well, that was a long time ago, damn where is this coming from?”

                “I like you Samantha.”

                Samantha didn’t say anything and neither did Larry for a while.  Larry rolled his eyes, he kind of blurted it out but believed Samantha should be the next person to talk.  Samantha said, “But you live in New York.”

                “I know and I wouldn’t want you to move there because I don’t like you in New York.   You don’t do well with your parents but you don’t like Florida, which I think is better because if I lived here, I’d want to be on Sanibel every weekend and you hate that.”

                “So what?  You’d move to Vegas with me where there’s no water for miles?”

                “San Diego and LA are only like three hours away.  I could go once a month or so. Besides do you demand your boyfriends to be around you all the time?”

                “No not really but this is an odd conversation.”

                “I know”

 

Bad Ending

                “Look I know I’ve asked you to move to Florida and you absolutely refused what changed?”

                “All my friends in New York are moving on.  They don’t make time to see me, they say they’re busy but really I’m just not important enough to them. I’ve loved being asexual till now but now I’m not so sure anymore.  I’ll never find a girl in New York that’s not obsessed with image and would accept me the way I am. I mean you don’t either because I drink but I’ll never smoke nor cheat on you like your past boyfriends.  So you compromise with the social drinking and I’ll compromise with your being a pothead.”

                “I don’t want my boyfriend’s drinking, I’m an angel, and you have to earn this.”

                “Right, the guys have to compromise but you refuse to.  If I don’t drink would you stop smoking weed?”

                “We’re not dating.  Why are we even having this discussion?”

                “To see if we could”

                “When I asked you to move to Florida it was because you were asexual.  I didn’t want my male roommate to come on to me.  I thought you were safe, obviously you’re not, so I’m glad you never did.  If I liked you do you think I would have tried to set you up with Jackee’s friend.”

                “You told me you weren’t trying”

                “I lied; I said that because you didn’t like her.”

                “Okay”

                “Look, I’m sorry I don’t like you like that, we’re friends.”

                “Fine”

                “Is it going to be awkward between us now?”

                “No, you’ve turned me down before, I’ll get over you.  But if you change your mind, let me know.  Though I’m not sure the offer will stand. I went years without sexual tension with you; I just recently started to like you again.”

                “Okay, can we forget about this conversation?”

                “Yea”

                Larry and Samantha surprisingly had a normal time together though Larry wasn’t as relaxed around Samantha this time around.  They went to Imakolee to hit the casino.  They played some poker and blackjack then Larry played craps.  When it was time to go, Larry went back to New York.  Part of him told him to keep chasing but the other half was relieved.  Being with Samantha was very demanding because she had a zero tolerance for guys that didn’t fit her mold of what a boyfriend should be.  The problem was Larry wasn’t too far off it, all he had to do was quit drinking and maybe lose some weight.  The second part would probably be a problem, Larry liked food. The point was though; Larry didn’t know what it would entail.  Maybe Samantha didn’t like that he could make his own money.  He fully intended on getting a job in Vegas.  Now Larry wouldn’t need to buy a car either.  Being with Samantha was a huge leap of faith. Samantha still contacted Larry when she was in New York and their friendship didn’t really take a turn for the worst.  Then again, they weren’t that close to begin with. Natalie loved that Larry got denied by Samantha because she would have felt weird hanging out with him if he was Samantha’s boyfriend.

               

Good ending

                Samantha said, “Larry, I never would have let you sleep next to me if I didn’t like you.”

                Larry was taken aback by this comment, “Well, I thought you just felt bad making me sleep on the floor when I paid for your ticket.”

                “No, I wouldn’t feel bad about that.”

                “Yea, I guess you wouldn’t”

                “So….what now?”

                “Well, you don’t like living in Florida, you didn’t really like living in New York, so I guess we gotta move to Vegas.”

                “You’d leave just like that?” Samantha said incredulously

                “Well, I’ve been thinking about this for about a month now.  All my friends in New York are all on the prowl and so goddamn image-conscious.  I’m not going to dress up just to hang out with them; I want it to be chill.  You won’t ask me to do that.  You’re not going to give me speeches about how you’re embarrassed to be seen around me because of how I dress.”

                “Those aren’t real friends who say that.”

                “That’s my point.  I don’t like apartments and the houses in New York are so damn expensive. I wouldn’t be able to afford one for at least five years.  Cleaning will be a problem for both of us but neither one of us minds a dirty house so I don’t know.  We both like dogs, though you’d be meaner than me because I’d let them on the furniture but whatever.  Yes I love the convenience of New York that every restaurant delivers to your door but I don’t get take out that often.  Yes I’ll need a car but rent will be much cheaper, my job doesn’t pay too much and the company is struggling financially so it’s not a bad time to leave.  My skills translate to any business.  It’s worth a shot.”

                “Well what if I move to New York?”

                “No, I don’t like you in New York”

                “What do you mean?”
                “You’re so stressed out by your parents, namely your dad, that I’m not as relaxed around you.”

                “Where did this come from?”

                “Vegas, you have no idea how much I hated when you weren’t with me.  I’ve never had that feeling before, the feeling where I can’t be happy without someone.  Everyone says that’s when you know you found the one, when you can’t live without her.  Well, you’re the closest I’ve come to that feeling.”

                There was a long silence then Samantha said, “I feel like I don’t have to be guarded around you.”

                “So why don’t we date?”

                “I do like that you’ve only had sex once.  There was that one incident on your birthday many years back but when your friends took you to Amsterdam and offered you a prostitute you said no.  I like that.  You and my sister have gotten pretty friendly but from what I hear you never hooked up with her even though one night you texted me and asked my permission”

                “Yea ended up passing out drunk that night.”

                “Excellent, I don’t want to know.”

                “Samantha, will you go out with me?”

                “Do I have to answer now?  You’re leaving tomorrow.”

                “Well, I know that even though you’re in Florida, I won’t cheat on you, can you tell me the same thing?”

                “Yea, that’s not a problem but I don’t know, maybe we should wait till we move to Vegas.”

                “I’m not quitting my job and dropping everything for you if you’re not sure if you want to date.”

                “You’re a little pushy!”

                “No, I think that’s perfectly reasonable but maybe you’re right this is how you treat men, you don’t want them disagreeing with you ever, it’s just ‘yes master, whatever you say.’  Forget it this may have been a bad idea.”

                “Yes”

                “Yes what?”

                “Yes, I will go out with you.  But this will be the first time I dated someone that could stand up to me.  Make sure I don’t regret that.  You need to respect me.”

                “I always have Samantha.”

                “Yea, I know that’s why I said yes.”

                Larry then leaned in a put his mouth close to Samantha’s.  Samantha leaned forward and they kissed.  Part of Larry hoped this one wouldn’t be as awkward as his kiss with Natalie.  After all, before that kiss, Larry thought he had sexual tension for her too.  It wasn’t awkward at all; Larry loved it.  He then said, “Well here’s the bad news, I signed a two year lease for my apartment so I can’t move to Vegas for another two years, but if you want to move to Vegas, you can. I’ll come visit like once a month”

                Samantha laughed, “Now you bring this up, right after we become girlfriend and boyfriend?”

                “I just realized it.  The past month was just about you saying yes.”

                Samantha smiled, “Alright well, I need time to pack up here and move out there so this may work.’

                “Alright”

                It took a year for Samantha to move to Vegas. 

                When Larry went back to New York, he started saving up preparing for if he had trouble finding a job out in Vegas and the move.  He saw Samantha once a month, most of the time, Larry went there but sometimes Samantha came to New York.  Samantha didn’t stay with her parents but in Larry’s tiny Manhattan apartment. Larry saw it as a good sign because if they could co-exist there, they would be fine in a house.  After Samantha had been in Vegas for a year, she found a job as a teacher and Larry moved in with her as his two year lease was up.  When he gave his two week notice at work, his co-workers congratulated him and made fun of him since he said he’d never get married and now he dropped everything for a girl.  It turned out Larry’s craps strategy was legitimate and gave him a second income.  He found a job rather quickly and didn’t even think to quit his job and gamble professionally.  That’s how Samantha got in trouble in the first place, she quit her Florida teaching job to become a professional poker player and it didn’t pan out well.  Turns out Larry and Samantha both motivated each other to pursue entrepreneurial activities that they had thought of before.  Larry had contacts in the west from his sister-in-law and Samantha used her charm to get them to invest. When it paid off, everyone was happy.  Money wasn’t an issue for them and eventually both quit their jobs and ran a successful company together selling felt tables for lab tops to give a casino feel when you play poker online, a revolutionary system for children being picked up at school, a best selling book Larry had written in 2009 and a financial planning company that Larry developed for non-rich people.  Even though Larry and Samantha were both 31 and losing time for the marriage question, Larry still found it hard to marry a non-Greek.  That problem would have to be solved later, however, right now, he was happy with his angel and treated her like one every day.