Larry Couchmanos has long given up on having kids or finding
love. He took the old cliché, “Don’t
hate the player, hate the game” to heart in that he stopped playing. He set himself up to never be corrupted by a
woman so if a girl made a move, he wrote it off that they were slutty so didn’t
want them. He, however, never made the
move because to him when the rules of the game is the woman will say ‘no’
regardless if she wants it or not; making a move is like a game of Russian
Roulette. Realizing that “No” actually
meant ‘man up and make a move without permission’ vs. no actually meaning “no”
was the difference of getting a hook up, which could lead to dating or being
accused and permanently labeled a sexual predator/rapist. Paradoxically the girls that had accused Larry
of this did so when he hadn’t touched them at all. The fact that so many of his female friends
defended the girls by saying he didn’t understand how traumatizing it was to be
turned down by a guy or not hit on by a guy, turned him off to the game. There was no excuse to falsely accuse someone
of rape or sexual assault.
To Larry,
his love was reserved for his niece Jenn, his goddaughter his other nieces and
nephew and his friends in that order.
Technically Jenn wasn’t really his niece but his friend’s niece but
after almost two decades of being called qeo
(pronounced Theo) Larry, which translates to “Uncle Larry” by Jenn, he had
invested in it in every possible way. Larry
long stopped trying to rationalize why Jenn meant so much to him. He just cherished what few and temporary
moments he had with her. Jenn lived in
Chicago and Larry in New York so it’s not like they could see each other
often. Larry made the effort to see her
but realized that it wasn’t too important to Jenn. At first this crushed him then he realized
that this was exactly the relationship he had insisted on and had with Jenn. How many people really want to see their
uncles frequently?
Jenn loved Larry but he ranked
pretty low in her most important people.
She used to look forward to his biannual cards for Christmas and her
birthday but lately he had set the bar so high with the first few that,
although very heartfelt and beautiful, she knew what to expect. The cards used to all be motivating and sappy
but lately Larry seemed to attack her boyfriend Benji. Jenn had many boyfriends, which wasn’t too
surprising. She was extremely popular in
high school, cheer captain, and prom queen dating the star quarterback. What could be more cliché than that? College wasn’t too different as she was cheer
captain for Butler then she followed a boy to Chicago where she found herself
now. Jenn will tell you that she doesn’t
care about money. Her parents had her
when they were 17 so they forwent college to raise her. Not having a college education meant that her
parents’ lives were a struggle. This was
exacerbated when her mother developed a lemon sized tumor in her brain when Jenn
was just fifteen. Jenn’s grandmother,
who was a nurse, came to stay with them to take care of Jenn’s mother but after
an argument, her grandmother walked out on them leaving Jenn to take care of
her mother. Unlike the cliché, Jenn was
very smart. She had tested at genius
levels in IQ in third grade. Being
attractive and smart made Jenn a killer combination but she didn’t let it get
to her head. She stayed humble and
attacked life. She had a decent job in
fashion which helped her pay for her studio apartment in the gold coast of Chicago. Although Jenn will tell you that money
doesn’t matter to her, she dumped the upper middle class boy she followed for
someone with an upper class pedigree.
Unlike the last boyfriend, this one got a job on his own so he could
prove to himself he could succeed without his family’s help but the goal was
always to go back to his home in St. Louis and take over the family
business. Jenn had every intention of
moving to St. Louis if asked. When her Qeo Larry attacked Benji, the current
boyfriend, she took it in stride. She
understood that to Larry, no guy would ever be good enough for her. It was sweet in a way but it wasn’t like she wanted
to be alone. Benji was everything to
her. He was one of the very few people
she had ever met that was smarter than her, he had a good job, he could take
care of her and he could rescue her from her extended family that pulled her
down. Qeo
Larry had never met him so how could he judge him? He explained this in his letters. He claimed that he saw a difference in
her. She seemed broken and insecure and
the only thing that changed was Benji. Jenn
talked to her mother every day and knew that her mom told Qeo Larry that Jenn was going through some
rough times but had finally gotten through it.
Neither gave Larry the details but her mother, Gissel, intimated that it
was over now. Larry still claimed to see
it. She wrote it off that he’d seen one
too many Chick flicks where the hot girl that has everything going for her
falls for the only guy that isn’t impressed with her and exploits her
insecurities to make her think she has to prove herself and raise herself to
him. Jenn got cat called every day
regardless what she was wearing so she was accustomed to male attention. Benji worried about her. He was protective over her. She was sure that
if they ever met, Qeo Larry would do a
180. Benji didn’t make her seem inferior;
he was the best thing that ever happened to her.
Larry talked to Gissel, Jenn’s
mother on occasion. He knew that Jenn
was planning to go to law school and he asked her about it not wanting to
bother Jenn. Gissel said that Jenn
hadn’t done as well as she wanted on the LSAT so she wasn’t going. That was three years ago, and Jenn had yet to
take the test over again or try. She had
simply given up for the first time in as long as Larry had known her and Larry
had known her since she was six. The
first time Larry was in Chicago, Jenn asked him to come back with his
goddaughter, Jenn’s cousin, and his goddaughter’s younger sister. This was really the first real favor Jenn
asked Larry so he really wanted to do it.
He found a weekend and Jenn was very non-committal on confirming if it
was okay. As the date got closer, Benji
surprised her with tickets to Florida for the same weekend. Jenn told Larry to reschedule. Larry tried to ask her to tell Benji that she
couldn’t go but she exclaimed that she had to because he already bought the
tickets. Larry was pretty sure if the
situation was reversed and Larry had already bought the tickets to Chicago the
rule wouldn’t apply. He felt he was
being punished for respecting Jenn’s wishes and not buying the tickets until
she was certain nothing else was going on.
Although he was heartbroken for a while, he came to the conclusion that
it was a favor to Jenn so really Jenn ruined something that she wanted. He couldn’t really be upset. He tried to reschedule like she told him but
then Jenn told him that she didn’t know how she felt about having a
three-year-old (the sister) staying with her and hanging out with a three and
eight year old. Larry reminded her that
it was what she asked for but forgot about the favor since Jenn called it
off. This may not have bothered Larry if
he hadn’t had his best friend’s wife predict this after meeting Jenn once. Benji really was to blame; he was making her
think she was too good for her family.
Although Jenn had come to Cleveland, where she grew up , several times
for weddings, birthdays and other family events, Benji always had a reason why
he couldn’t come.
Finally the day was coming when Benji
was coming to Cleveland to meet Jenn’s family.
They had been dating two years now and Jenn was convinced this was the
one she was going to marry. Larry had
heard that this is typical for 25-28 year olds and Jenn was 25. What was also typical is they are normally
wrong. Larry had vowed he wouldn’t come
to Cleveland that year and Jenn hadn’t really invited him. He just heard through his friend, Jenn’s
actual Aunt that Benji was coming in April.
Jenn’s birthday was April 5 so he assumed it was for that. She also had a tradition that she would go to
opening day for the Indians with her dad, which was right around the time of
her birthday every year. Because of
that, Larry assumed it was the beginning of April but he was adamant he
wouldn’t go even if invited.
On the night of April 4, Larry
stared at his phone waiting for midnight.
He enjoyed calling people at midnight the night before their birthdays
to be the first to wish them happy birthday.
None of his friends were surprised anymore. In fact, they were more
surprised if he didn’t call by 12:01. As
Larry was getting older, he would fall asleep before midnight and then wake up
frantically calling. It was humorous the
responses he’d get. One friend he called
at 12:17 and she picked up and said, “You’re late.” Another friend that he’d grown up with, Larry
didn’t wake up until 2:30AM. He
contemplated not calling but did anyway to an answer of his friend going, ‘I
was beginning to think it was not my birthday because you hadn’t called.” This is why when Jenn’s phone rang at midnight;
she knew exactly who it was without looking.
She picked it up and said coyly “Hello?”
“Happy Birthday” came the response
from Qeo Larry.
“Thank You Qeo Larry, you were the first once again”
After
which, Benji, who was right next to her said, “Happy Birthday”
Benji
was a little annoyed. He wanted to have
sex with Jenn but Jenn told him he had to wait till after the phone call. He already knew that Larry liked to keep her
on the phone but Jenn promised she’d cut it short. He heard Jenn say, “So I took Benji to see
the family.”
“Yea I
know I heard.” Larry responded dryly.
Jenn
always kept a smiling excited voice with her Qeo
Larry so she continued, “Please tell me that you’re not in Cleveland lured by
this.”
“No Jenn,
I’m not “ wondering if that was a subtle way to tell him that she was
disappointed that he wasn’t but Larry never came to Cleveland when Jenn could
make it for her birthday so why would this year be any different? He continued “Between the 1st
Wednesday and the 10th are my busiest times at work so I try not to
travel during those times.”
Jenn
didn’t want him to come but wouldn’t put it past him. Qeo Larry travelled a lot and took many short pointless trips;
coming to Chicago on a Wednesday to take her out to a steak house only to leave
the next morning she considered one of them.
She was relieved he wasn’t in Cleveland especially because she wasn’t at
her parent’s home but in a hotel for obvious reasons. She did, however, want him to meet Benji and
now that it’s her birthday week, she could charm her way into getting him to
come continue their trip to New York to meet him. She had already told Benji this and he agreed
on the condition that she did something in bed she didn’t normally do. Jenn agreed.
Once Larry met Benji, he would get over his false assumptions about him
and see what she saw. After all, Jenn’s
family loved him. Though the reason she
was hesitant for her family to meet him is because they love anyone with money
and Jenn loathed them for it. She knew Qeo Larry came from money so it meant nothing
to him. Still though, Benji wasn’t
amazing because he was rich, he was just amazing. Even if he continued thinking something amiss
it didn’t matter. She didn’t need his
approval; she was merely giving him a chance to be a part of her life after she
got married. If he turned it down then
he could go fuck himself. She’d make the
effort and go to New York, after that, it was up to Qeo Larry. What could
possibly go wrong?
Larry
hung up the phone ecstatic. Jenn was
coming to New York. It was going to be
April 13-15. He knew it was to meet Benji but he’d do what he did with the last
boyfriend, rib him a little bit, threaten to kill him if he hurt Jenn and then
basically do nothing. Larry always
thought he would kill for Jenn but she was smart and he didn’t think she’d fall
for someone that would require him to kill.
She already was cheated on in high school and Larry didn’t do
anything. The speech he gave to
boyfriends was, “If you do something egregious” but he didn’t really know what
that was. He felt men should be able to
handle the threats as a part of being men.
Most guys he knew had been threatened by their girlfriend’s fathers or
other men in their life. The last boyfriend
took to it well. A small part of him,
though, wanted to believe that when he said he’d do anything for Jenn, he meant
it. He always said that he’d spend the
rest of his life in jail for her but he did wish it never came to that. Larry lived in a small house in Syosset,
which is in a forested area in Long Island, New York. He had a fire pit in his back yard and a hot
tub. There were three bedrooms in the
house. One had six TV’s connected
together so he could watch six basketball games at once and if there was only
one game on, he could watch it on a huge screen as the picture would be spread
across the six screens. He loved it and
reminded himself that this was why he didn’t get married. Women frown upon man caves such as this. He picked Benji and Jenn up at JFK and then
drove to his house. He had ordered food
and they ate and talked. When Jenn went
to the bathroom, Larry looked at Benji and said, “I know you’ve probably heard
this before, but I’m just letting you know that I have no wife, no kids. The only thing I enjoy is travelling and I’ve
seen 39 countries so I’ve done a decent amount for a lifetime. If you hurt Jenn, I will kill you. Now, if the spark is gone and you break up
with her, I’ll understand. I’m a
reasonable guy, but I mean if you do something egregious….well there’s a lot of
flights a day between New York and Chicago.
I’d have no problem going there and killing you.”
This is
the part Larry had trouble imagining. After
9/11, it was increasingly difficult to book a flight the day of the trip. He’d probably have to wait a few days and
within two weeks, prices skyrocket. It’s
not like he had a time limit. If
anything, the longer he waited the safer Benji may feel if he actually thought
he’d carry out the threat, which Larry doubted Benji would believe. But, considering the time delay and the flight
time, and finding Benji, it was also time for Larry to calm down, rationalize,
and maybe cooler heads would prevail.
After all, Jenn would most likely be against it and hate him for
life. Yea, he barely believed it himself
but he enjoyed saying it. After dinner,
it got late so Larry was going to go to bed.
He pulled Jenn aside and said, “Jenn, I’m not naïve, I know that you
probably fuck him like every night but not in my house please.”
Jenn
rolled her eyes, “Obviously Qeo Larry”
Larry
was satisfied and went to bed. He heard
the back door open and he went to his window which overlooked his back
yard. He told himself to stop watching
because it would bother him to see them kiss or do anything intimate. It wouldn’t be immoral or counter what Jenn
had told him she wouldn’t do but he didn’t need to watch it. Something told him to watch though.
Benji
and Jenn walked outside to get some fresh air.
April is not a warm month in New York but the cold didn’t bother either
of them. The Great Lakes States are much
colder than New York so this was fine for them.
Benji said, “Your uncle is pretty nice.”
Jenn
gave him a doubting look and said, “Well I think you’re lying.”
“No, I
mean obviously he threatened me but he’s supposed to. Other than that, he was polite, we had a good
conversation. I behaved.”
“Yea,
he did too.”
Benji
smiled and put his arm around her and she leaned in and rested her head against
his chest. Jenn said, “Thanks for doing
this. I know my family is kind of
intense and jackasses.”
Jenn
was referring to how they enjoy drinking and being loud. Jenn’s mom was Greek
and the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding was
pretty accurate with the extended family.
Jenn always resented it and hated family parties where her family would
be drunk; singing, dancing and acting like jackasses while the non-Greeks were
polite and had nice conversations. When
she’d bring friends she would tell them, “The jackasses are my family.” Qeo Larry
was no exception to this. He justified
it to her by saying that the reason why her family acts like that at her
parent’s house is because they are comfortable there. The less you know someone the more on good
behavior you are at their home. Jenn
didn’t buy it though. Benji said,
“They’re fine, but don’t worry, I’ll be your prince and rescue you from them
soon.”
Jenn
smiled but decided to act like a punk and go, “What does that mean?”
Benji
smiled, “Nothing, but your family does think I’m amazing.”
Jenn
smiled back and said, “Yea, they do”
Benji
kissed Jenn and Jenn kissed back. Benji
pulled away and said, “But, you know if we get married, you’re not going to be
calling your mom every day.”
Jenn
stopped smiling and shook her head. That
comment came out of the blue and now she wasn’t faking it, she was a little put
off by the comment. This time she
seriously asked, “What does that mean?”
“Calm
down JJ (Jenn’s last name was ‘Jackson’ so Benji and his friends called her “JJ”)
you know what I mean.”
“No, I
don’t” as she stepped away a little bit.
“Well,
if we’re married, you have to fully commit to me. I don’t want to have to deal
with these mommy breaks. Break the
umbilical cord and be an adult.”
“Oh
please, don’t call me a child; I’m more mature than you.”
“No,
you’re not. I’m smarter than you, I’m
more mature than you and I’m the one that raises the bar for you to reach. I lift you up. I’m lifting you up out of a ranch home in
Avon, Ohio giving you the life every girl dreams of. Going to the galas, sitting in the green
seats at Cardinals games (1st two rows behind home plate) going to
Paris and staying on the Champs Elysee.”
Jenn
lowered her head. She wasn’t a
feminist. She actually liked a man
taking control. She was raised to serve
men as Greek women really devote themselves to their men. Non-Greeks don’t understand that despite
this, the woman is extremely revered and it’s not condescending but when you
have to get a beer for your husband every time he asks, American women struggle
with realizing that this isn’t subservience and everything the women’s movement
fights against. What they don’t tell
you, is that despite all the mainstream media propaganda, most women do want
men to take control and are turned on when they take charge and boss them
around. The success of Fifty Shades of Grey should shine some
light on that but media always leans left and has no basis in reality. Still though, these comments bothered
her. “And I provide nothing to this
equation?”
“No,
I’m not saying that, God babe, no.” Benji
grabbed her by the shoulders and looked into her greenish grey eyes and said,
“You’re beautiful, you’re going to be the envy of every guy no matter where we
go. You’re smart; I can have a
conversation with you and not want to blow my brains out. You’re not some blond bimbo, there is substance
to you and you’re hot as hell but as we get older, your looks will fade, and my
money probably won’t. My contributions
are just longer lasting so if you don’t want me to resent you in the future,
you can’t make me second to your family.”
Jenn
had no intention of ever having him second to her family but he was presenting
this so wrong. She loved her parents and
her brother. She didn’t want to never
speak to them because her husband was jealous that 100% of her time wasn’t
devoted to him. She shook her head. She didn’t know what to say so she just said
what millennials are trained to say, “That was hurtful.”
Benji
smiled. He could see what was
happening. JJ was feeling insecure,
which means he was going to get lucky tonight.
Although this was a regular thing, when JJ felt insecure, she put a lot
of extra energy into sex to overcompensate whatever insecurity he had exploited. He had her wrapped around his finger. He grabbed her arms and said, “Come on, let’s
go inside, I’m sorry, I love you.”
Jenn
wrapped her arms around him and lowered her head onto his chest. Benji kissed the top of her head and down her
face removing a hand from her back and putting it under her chin lifting
it. He leaned in for a passionate kiss
and Jenn turned her head at the last minute and felt his tongue and lips on her
cheek. She said, “We can’t Netflix and
chill tonight” using the lingo common with mid-20-year-olds.
Benji
let go of her and stepped back. “What?”
“I
promised Qeo Larry that I wouldn’t.”
“Whatever
we’ll be quiet, he’ll never know” As he grabbed her arms again.
Jenn
threw his hands back and stepped back.
“I said ‘no’ Benji, God,”
Benji’s
eyes widened and watched as JJ crossed her arms and glared at him. He said, “This is what I’m talking about. Now you see what I mean.”
“No, Benji,
this is his house. We will probably
never be here again. I’m asking for two
fucking days and you act like I’m unreasonable.”
“You
are. You’re being emotional”
“No,
I’m not, I’m being rational.”
Benji
nodded his head, “Like you would know.”
“Fuck
you Benji, I’m not stupid. I’m not all
emotion like most girls, you should know that.”
“I do
know that, but you’re not more rational than me.”
Jenn
shook her head and gave him a dirty look.
She glanced back at the house and remembered Qeo Larry’s letters. For
the first time she began contemplating if they were right. She said direly serious, “No more sarcasm, no
more being cute, no more being a punk. I
know I do it a lot but I’m dead fucking serious now. Do you really look at me as some dumb damsel
in distress that can’t take care of myself?”
Benji
took a deep breath and said, “No, I’m not saying that, I’m just saying you want
to marry up.”
“Up
how? Like I’m a fucking gold digger?”
“I’m
not saying you’re a gold digger but let’s face it JJ, have you ever dated
anyone since high school that wasn’t rich?
It’s not a bad thing. Why else do you work so hard on your looks? Why do you spend so much time with your make
up every day? Why else do you refrain
from Dr. Pepper that you love so much and do everything you do to maintain your
beauty. It’s to attract people like me;
to make sure that you don’t have to live in a ranch home with four people and
one bathroom for the rest of your life.
You want to make sure that your house never has molding on it or things
going wrong because you can’t afford someone to come fix it. You want to go to the bathroom and stay as
long as you want without having someone coming in because you have to be
considerate.”
“That
one bathroom thing in my parent’s house really bothered you huh?”
“Yea,
and when your mom called your brother to hurry up because I had to go made me
feel bad, I had no problem waiting. I’m
just not used to that.”
“You
know when I’m in the shower, Christian (Jenn’s brother) would open the door
because it was unlocked to go. I was
behind a curtain so I didn’t mind.” She said rather confrontationally.
“That’s
what I’m saying babe, you’ll never have to do that again.”
“Yea,
because you’re going to save me from all that right? I’m so lucky that this poor little girl from
the suburbs of Cleveland found a man that lifted her out and bought her nice
jewelry and clothes so she could forget about her poor upbringing of a dad that
worked his ass off at a bar and her parents who grinded every minute of their
lives to give their kids the best possible life they could without college
degrees. Now that I’m married to you, I
don’t have to remind myself of them by visiting them or talking to them because
I have you right?”
“Exactly.”
Jenn
was shocked that Benji couldn’t figure out she was mocking him. She shook her head and said, “Benji, I really
need you to sleep on the fucking couch tonight.”
“What
did I say? Oh God, JJ, I’m just
kidding. Lighten up”
“I
can’t believe you just said that. Any of
this. I just can’t believe you think
that about me.”
“Think
what?”
“You
have no idea what it’s like to have hardship.
Your parents are divorced so all that fucking money didn’t keep them
together. My mom was 17 when she was
pregnant with me; 18 when she had me. My
dad is only six months older than her.
If I was in your family, I’d probably be dead because they would have
just gotten an abortion. My parents
stayed together. My parents sucked it up
and made it work. Yours are quitters.”
Benji
took a deep breath and slapped JJ across the face before he even know what he
was doing. He put his hands to his face
and said, “Shit sorry, are you okay? As he bent over and put his hand on JJ’s
back.”
Jenn
was more emotionally hurt than physically.
She looked up at him in exasperation and confusion. How could the man she loved so much do that
to her? Suddenly her eyes glanced over
his shoulder and she saw something that was about to escalate the situation.
Larry
stood at the window staring at Jenn and Benji.
Every time they kissed, Larry wanted to vomit but he told himself not to
stop looking. He wanted to observe how
they interacted when he wasn’t there. Larry
was a poker player and a psychology mJJor so he could read non-verbals decently
well. Still though, it would be better
if he could hear what they were saying.
He noticed that the conversation had gone from typical couple of subtle affection
and caring to fighting. Larry knew that
just because a couple fights, doesn’t mean it’s unhealthy. It’s what type of fight they’re having. Do they still listen to each other? Love is passion; as is hate and anger so the
person you’re with should bring you to all three quicker than anyone you
know. The fact that they were mad at
each other didn’t mean anything. He
didn’t like seeing Jenn upset but he was able to let his rational self
prevail. He continued to watch analyzing
every gesture, every movement, he tracked their eyes putting all the data in
his head to make a conclusion. That is
until he saw a hand go across Jenn’s face and she hit the ground. Then his mind went blank, there was no longer
neurons shooting neurotransmitters into the synapses of his brain to connect to
other neurons. He was on cruise
control. The prevalent thing he was
seeing was “black” but he could make out just the shapes needed to not run into
a wall and navigate outside and distinguish standing person from crouched
person. He didn’t notice Jenn notice him
come outside. He didn’t notice when Benji
turned towards him with his hands up. If
the auditory pathway to his brain wasn’t inhibited he may have heard Benji say,
“Whoa man, I didn’t mean to do that, it was an accident.”
Larry
leaned over wrapped his arms around Benji’s legs and hoisted him over his
shoulder. Benji was bigger than Larry
but that didn’t seem to matter right now.
Larry walked toward his fire pit and darted his shoulder forward as he
pulled Benji’s legs against his chest.
The top half of Benji’s snapped forward and his back slammed against the
stone wall around the fire pit. His back
was arched over and Benji couldn’t really move as pain coursed through his
body. Larry grabbed a lighter and put it
against Benji’s shirt. Small flames
emerged from the shirt and Larry grabbed a gas can and poured it on Benji and
watched as flames rose higher. He walked
into the pit and grabbed Benji’s arms.
He didn’t realize Benji was screaming.
The houses were far enough apart in this area of long island that nobody
would hear him scream. Larry yanked Benji
so that his lower back and legs were in the fire pit. He stepped out of the pit as Benji rolled
trying to put out the flames. Larry
grabbed a log and threw it at Benji’s head connecting and Benji stopped
rolling. Larry grabbed two logs and
placed them on either side of Benji. The
gas had already been burnt and the fire was decreased. He pushed the logs forward so they held each
other up leaning forward over Benji’s body.
He did the same thing with two more logs putting it over above his head
and in between his legs. He threw some
kindling on Benji’s body and lit it putting the gas back on. The logs directed the flames high and he
walked away. Benji was moaning but it
was weaker than it had been before. He
cried out weakly for help and Larry walked toward Jenn. He said, “I don’t know if he was pretty
before but he certainly isn’t anymore.
I’ll leave my phone and a credit card on the table. I’m going upstairs, I’m not coming back down
till the morning, you can use hotel tonight to find a hotel if you like and use
the card to get away from me if that’s what you want. My fate I leave in your hands.”
Larry
wasn’t looking at Jenn when he said this.
He had already walked passed her and was staring at his house with his
back to her. Jenn was looking at the
flames in shock. As Larry spoke, she
turned to him and pointed her arm at the flames with an open hand and gave an
incredulous look and shook her head. Larry
saw none of this. She looked back at the
flames and then at Larry and smiled. In
a strange way, she was turned on by this.
Jenn
stared at the flames for a while until the flames died down and then went into
the house. She climbed the stairs to Larry’s
room and opened the door. Larry was fast
asleep on his bed. Jenn rolled her eyes
and walked over to him and shook him awake.
Larry woke up pretty quickly and said, “What?”
“Ummm,
you have to get up and get dressed because you can’t leave a dead body in your
fire pit”
Larry
nodded his head and got up and put on pants and a T-shirt. He walked to the fire pit and saw the charred
remains of Benji. He stared at the tarp
of his hot tub and decided it would work.
He laid down the tarp and put on gloves.
He dragged the corpse onto the tarp and then wrapped it. He lifted the tarp wrapped body and carried
it over his shoulder and into the garage.
Larry unwrapped the tarp, crumbled it up and threw it to the side. Jenn was watching intently and Larry said, “Jenn,
can you get Benji’s suit case. Jenn left
and emptied Benji’s suit case and brought it to him.
While Jenn
was gone, Larry grabbed an axe and swung it down at Benji’s neck. He was surprised how quickly it came
off. Then again, fire does have a way of
breaking things down and making them more fragile. He laid out Benji’s arms and cut at the elbow
then the shoulder. He did the same with
the knee and the pelvis. He cut the
midsection into four pieces. He had
always heard on reality shows that people underestimate how much mass a body
has and how exhausting it is to chop it up but Larry looked around and decided
he was done. It hadn’t taken too much
energy. He took a pair of pliers and
yanked out all of Benji’s teeth placing them into a metal jar. Jenn watched as he did this sitting on the
stair leading to his house unsure what to do.
Larry placed the pieces of Benji’s body into the suitcase and closed it
easily. He wheeled the suitcase out of
his garage and placed it in the trunk of his car. Jenn said, “What are you going to do with
it?”
“Bury
it upstate”
“Qeo Larry, it’s going to take a while to dig
a hole. We can’t be digging a hole in daylight.
Let’s just keep him in your car.
It’s kind of cold out so that will preserve it a little bit so it won’t
smell too bad. Then at dusk we’ll head
out to bury it in the woods away from your house.
Larry
agreed and went upstairs stripped back to his boxers again and went to bed. Jenn didn’t go right to bed. She went into Benji’s phone and booked a
hotel on hotel tonight. She then called
an Uber to the hotel from Benji’s phone.
She threw his phone in the parking lot and hoped that the Uber driver
had a lot of passengers that night so wouldn’t remember that only a woman got
into the car. This wasn’t too hard to
explain away, people call Uber for other people all the time. She walked down the road for 20 minutes
before using her phone to call an Uber back to Larry’s. When she got back, she lied in bed but didn’t
sleep. Larry slept until past noon,
which Jenn knew was odd since he was an early riser. She tried to occupy herself on her cell phone
and social media like she always did.
She went to Larry’s mancave and watched TV. She wasn’t really paying attention; all she
could think about was last night.
When Larry
woke up, he was shocked to find that it was 1PM. He got up and took a shower and got
ready. When he got out he saw Jenn in
the TV bedroom. He asked if she wanted
something to eat but she said she was fine.
He made himself cereal and ate. This
was going to be a long six hours waiting for night time. He walked into the TV room and Jenn walked
out and said, “I’m going to watch shit on my Ipad”
Larry
only nodded. He really thought he’d wake
up to the police arresting him but Jenn didn’t seem to have called them. He watched movies and at around 5:00 he
called out to Jenn, “Hey, I’m going to get some food, do you want something?”
“No, I
can’t really eat”
Larry
nodded. He called an Uber because the thought of driving with a dead body in
his trunk to run errands seemed weird.
He went to a Chipotle and sat and ate there before taking an Uber
back. When he arrived back, Jenn was
watching TV. The sun was setting and it
would take over an hour to get between Newburgh and West Point where Larry
decided he’d bury the body. He stood at
the door and Jenn said, “It’s dusk”
“I
know, I’m going to head out. You know mi
casa es su casa. My Ipad has my card and
password saved for Grubhub, so you can just order something and they’ll deliver
if you get hungry. Otherwise, call me if
you need anything.”
“One,
I’m coming with you. Two, you’re not taking your cell phone because it can’t
ping to your location”
Larry
had no sense of direction but still had an after market Garmin in his car when
he drove because he needed to see the map.
With the I-watch vibrating when it was time to do something, it was
obsolete but he wouldn’t be taking that either.
He took off the watch and plugged his Garmin in and waited for it to load
up. He typed in West Point and decided
to just stop short. Jenn sat in the
passenger seat and they took two shovels, logs, marshmallows, gas and hot dogs
and a lighter to make it seem like they were having a bon fire if someone
asked. As they were going, Jenn said,
“Do me a favor and just don’t say anything while we drive please.”
“Okay”
Larry could
day dream for hours so didn’t need music but he tried to turn the radio on
anyway. Jenn told him to shut it off. They drove in silence until Larry got to the
Tappen Zee Bridge. He handed Jenn the
jar of Benji’s teeth since she was on the water side and said, “Throw this in
the river.” Jenn rolled down her window
and tossed it as hard as she could. The
jar fell into the water with a light splash.
They continued to drive in silence till Larry pulled off the highway and
went along side streets till he was in a rural area surrounded by woods. He pulled the car over and took out the
suitcase. Jenn brought the two shovels
and they walked far enough into the woods so they couldn’t see the street but
still knew how to get back. It was dark
now and they started digging. Since Benji’s
body was in pieces they didn’t need to dig too wide. When the hole was about knee deep both Jenn
and Larry were exhausted. Jenn had
stopped when it was a little more than an ankle deep. Not eating all day didn’t give her the
strength to dig. Larry kept going and
thought it should be deeper but the ground was cold and hard to dig. He dumped the contents of the suitcase into
the hole and buried it. He walked back
to the car in silence. Bringing the
camping equipment was pointless. They
had suitcases and a shovel, who would believe it was a camping trip? Larry put the suitcase back in the car and
started the car and they started driving back.
A short while into it, Jenn broke the silence and said, “You killed a
man for slapping me in the face.”
“Yes, I
did” Larry said because he didn’t know what else to say.
“I
don’t mean to state the obvious. This
whole day, I’ve been trying to figure out why whenever I say that to myself, I
feel nothing. I don’t feel bad for
him. I don’t feel guilty, I feel
nothing. So, I thought if I said it out
loud, I’d feel something but I don’t”
Larry
took a deep breath and said, “You didn’t do anything, I did”
Jenn
turned to him and said, “Yea, you killed a man.”
“Yes”
“Like
you burned him alive.”
“I did
do that.”
“That’s
a pretty shitty way to go.”
The
most eerie thing to Larry was Jenn’s tone was matter of fact, almost
incredulous but more reflecting. “ One
of the worst I’m told. Jenn, are you
recording this? Are you trying to get a
confession?”
Jenn
glared at Larry and gave him a dirty look which she held for a long time. Larry turned to her and turned back to the
road regretting what he said. Jenn broke
the silence and said, “You don’t get to be afraid of me.”
“Okay”
“No,
I’m fucking serious. I know how you
don’t trust people and that’s fine but you fucking killed someone last night
for slapping me in the fucking face.
Then you just go to sleep, leave the fucking body outside to maybe be
carried away by an animal or someone may smell it or what not. You leave me alone in the house to get
something to eat. You don’t even take
your car. it’s just me and the evidence.
It’s almost like you wanted to get caught. I know how you like to test people, but God
damn this is a shitty test. Then you
were going to leave me home to come out here to bury the body. Giving me another opportunity to escape. Guess what, Qeo
Larry, I’m still here. I’m not asking
you to trust me. I know you don’t trust
anybody but you can’t be afraid of me.
Even after what you did, I’ve been alone in your house with you. I came out to the middle of the fucking woods
with you when you have a shovel. If this
were a movie, people would be screaming at the TV that I was an idiot because
I’m the only witness to a murder you committed and I’m giving you amble
opportunity to get rid of me. Only, I
know you wouldn’t. I know you did it for
me in some sick fucked up way. I know
that even after watching you burn someone alive, I know you would never fucking
hurt me. I have absolutely no fear of
you. So, have some fucking consideration
for that and don’t be afraid of me when I’ve done absolutely nothing to make
you afraid of me and I definitely have some reasons to be afraid of you but I’m
not. Don’t you dare!”
Larry
nodded his head and said, “Well, I got to say you make some excellent points”
and smiled.
Jenn
smiled too, “Yea, I may be blond but I’m not dumb.”
Larry
glared at her and said, “You’re brilliant.”
“Thank
you.” Then let out a huge sigh.
After a
short silence Jenn said, “You know Qeo Larry,
I hate saying this because you go around telling people you’re never wrong but
you were right about Benji. I keep replaying
our conversation and it wasn’t an anomaly, he always tries to belittle me
subtly and make me feel like I’m lucky to have him when it should be
equal. Is it so wrong to want security
though?”
“Of
course not. I know society tries to tell
people that money is the root of all evil but there’s nothing wrong with
wanting a rich guy. You just want one
that won’t keep you down. You want one
that will love you for you. Someone that
isn’t too insecure to realize that if their wife thrives, it looks good on them
too. There’s a lot of millionaires just
like there’s a lot of hot chicks. The
key is to find one that also is a good guy just like good rich guys look for a
hot chick that has substance. I’ve told
you before, there’s nobody with a better package than you kid. You need someone that realizes that and
doesn’t look at your strength as a challenge to break.”
“Yea,
you’ve said all that before. But this
time, I think I’m ready to listen. I
think you’re right. Man, but everyone
loved Benji.”
“Your family?”
“Yea
and my friends….except you.”
“Yea
well, your grandmother raised your mom and her other kids about these contests
and the rules. I never really understood
that after what your grandmother did to you and your mother, that she has any
credibility what so ever but her and your aunts have this competition on who
married the richest guy. Your mom
instilled in you that the only thing that matters is how much money the guy has
because that is the single metric that your grandmother judges. I say fuck her. She’s a cold hearted woman and her rules
don’t matter. They don’t care how broken
you are, as long as the guy your with has money. Me, no amount of money is worth seeing you
broken.”
“I
don’t care what that woman thinks! She abandoned my mom when she had a fucking
brain tumor”
“Your
mom raised you with the similar contests and rules she did”
Jenn
pondered this and realized Qeo Larry
was right but wasn’t about to admit it.
She just said, “This is going to sound weird, but I really appreciate that
you’d do anything to help me.” Larry gave a nervous laugh but didn’t
respond. Jenn continued, “I’m starving,
let’s get something to eat. I haven’t
eaten all day.”
“Sure”
“You know, you could have just stopped after
you slammed him on the rock wall. I mean
you threw him down pretty hard.”
Larry’s
grip on the steering tightened and he said, “Yea, I could have. But I kind of blacked out and the lighter and
gas was right there. I do think that
injured him though, which is why he couldn’t really roll with much intensity.”
“So you
agree you overreacted” Jenn’s eyes looked at Larry but her head stayed staring
ahead. She was using her peripheral
vision to see his reaction.
“I
don’t think there’s any question I overreacted.”
“Okay,
good….good. That sign shows a diner at
the next exit, we should go there”
They ate
the restaurants and headed back to Larry’s.
They hosed off the tarp and Benji’s suitcase then went back inside. They stayed up for a while watching a movie
and then Jenn said she was tired. Larry
and Jenn both got ready for bed and lied down.
After a little while, Jenn got up from her bed in the guest room and
went into Larry’s room. She noticed him
lying facing the other side of the bed rather than the floor. She pulled up the covers and lied next to Larry
turning her back to him. She reached
back and grabbed Larry’s arm and pulled it around her as she snuggled closer to
him. Larry woke up and slid his other
arm under her neck as an extension of the pillow and fell back asleep
quickly. Jenn took a deep breath and
fell asleep shortly thereafter. She
wasn’t much of a cuddler but it had been an exhausting weekend.
The
next day Larry took Jenn to the airport.
He got out of the car when he dropped her off and gave her a hug. Jenn leaned in and wrapped her arms around
his body letting her legs go limp. She
knew what was coming next. Larry straightened himself and lifted Jenn as she
kicked her legs back. Jenn said, “Thanks
for putting me up this weekend, I love you.”
“I love
you too, anytime”
Larry
let Jenn down and they let go. Jenn took
her bag and walked into the airport looking back at Qeo Larry. She knew it
was going to be a while since she saw him again but that’s how their
relationship was. She had already
checked in online and wasn’t checking a bag so she just went through
security. She got to the gate and
engaged in social media. Five minutes
before boarding, she texted Benji’s phone saying, “Where are you?”
She
contemplated telling Larry to go get Benji’s phone and text back but decided it
was too risky. Right now, she just
needed social media to know that she didn’t know Benji was missing. She was on the plane now and she texted, “We
boarded, you better be close or you’ll miss your flight.”
Larry
had thrown all of Benji’s possessions into a dumpster in the city. When Jenn got back to Chicago, she started texting
her friends telling them about a fight she had with Benji and how he left her
to go to a hotel. They all said things
along the lines of that he’ll get over It and they’d be fine. As the days progressed, Jenn felt stronger
and stronger. Eventually, Benji’s
friends and parents started to worry.
The family hired a private investigator to find out what happened. Jenn was questioned but she stuck to her
story. The private investigator did make
it to New York but Larry wasn’t too helpful.
He said that he went to bed and when he woke up the next day, Jenn told
him Benji went to a hotel because they had a fight. When asked what the fight was about Larry
honestly told him he didn’t know. That
was the first time Larry realized that he never asked Jenn what happened that
made him hit her. To Larry, it didn’t
matter. He was old fashioned, boys don’t
hit girls no matter what. Eventually
there was nothing to go on. The cops
found the phone but never the Uber driver to ask who was in their car that
night. Jenn feigned concern well. Even Benji’s parents didn’t suspect her; they
thought something happened at the hotel.
They poured through the security footage at the hotel for Benji but not
one camera picked him up. Nobody noticed
a girl in a hat who got out of a car and then walked away from the parking lot;
or that girl dropping a cell phone in the bushes in the parking lot right
around where the cops found the phone.
Or if they did, they didn’t put together it was Jenn. The case got cold quick and Jenn stopped
talking to Benji’s parents and they stopped calling her. She was too hard a reminder of their
son. Dealing with the parents was the
hardest part for Jenn.
Months
later, it was Christmas time. Larry had
written his customary Christmas card to Jenn but was shocked to get one in his
mailbox from her. It said,
Dear Qeo Larry,
I literally don’t remember the
last time I hand wrote a letter but I wanted to thank you for our time in New
York. You really made me feel better
about myself and snapped me out of a funk I had been in for a very long
time. You have no idea how much your
love, friendship and support has meant to me and I’m going to admit that I will
always welcome it. Even if I fight you
on itJ. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I got into
law school and I’ll be attending next fall.
I retook the LSAT and did much better.
Merry Christmas and I love you
~Your Queen Jenn
Larry had saved Jenn in his phone as “Queen Jenn” and even
bought her a tiara. He smiled. It is true that every kind word Jenn said
touched him deeply but this card really meant a lot to him. Before he had no opinion or thoughts about
killing Benji, but now, he was proud of it.
With this card, he knew he set Jenn free to strive for her
potential. He put the card in a safe
place and called Jenn to thank her for the card and she thanked him back for
his. Their relationship didn’t change
much. They still didn’t speak too often
and only saw each other about once a year.
It didn’t take Jenn long to find another rich kid to date. This one treated her well but after a couple
months of dating, she called her Qeo Larry
more to see if he picked up on any changes.
She never told him that’s why she was calling for he was good at
including it in his biannual cards. He
didn’t bring it up which was all the endorsement Jenn needed. Neither Jenn nor Larry ever heard about Benji
again.
