Friday, July 27, 2018

Can't Lose What You Don't Have


                Larry Couchmanos is a sophomore in high school.  Through a church basketball league, he met a girl named Effie .  Effie was not really into sports but was a member of the youth league to meet other Greeks.  Effie didn’t have too many friends in the group but Larry was one of them.  Both Effie and Larry had three siblings but whereas all four kids were born in a span of seven years in Larry’s family, Effie was the youngest and her closest sibling in age was eight years her senior.  That coupled with her two eldest sisters having children in college, Effie became an Aunt very early in her life.  In fact, she was eight years old when her sister gave birth to a baby girl named Jenn. 

Since Larry always felt like a black sheep in his family, he enjoyed being away from home.  He would often hang out with and sleep over friend’s houses and was lucky enough to have parents who didn’t mind giving him his space.  Effie didn’t mind obliging Larry with this.  She invited him over often and he spent a lot of time at her house.  On one day, Larry saw Effie’s mom feeding a little girl.  Larry never really liked children so he was indifferent to the presence of the little girl.  Effie said, “Larry, this is my niece Jenn”

Larry greeted her and said nice to meet you and quickly moved on to other things.  When it was time to leave, Larry said good bye to everyone including Jenn.  Jenn turned to him and said, “Bye Qeo Larry.”  This wasn’t the first time that Larry noticed that the shortened version of his name “Larry” was the same as the Greek word for “uncle” but this is the first time he actually had someone address him as such.  Given that Jenn was only six, she associated anyone of Effie’s age group hanging out at the house as uncle and aunts so to her it meant nothing to use the Greek word for “uncle” to address this new person that’s with her Aunt Effie.  Larry couldn’t wait for his siblings to have kids so that he could be Qeo Larry but thought that he’d have to wait a long time for that to happen.  Now, it just did. 

Jenn’s mother, Gissell, was very vocal about how much she liked Larry.  Whenever Effie was not in the room, she would tell Larry that he was a great kid and way too good to be dating her sister.  Larry politely smiled and nodded and told Gissell that he and Effie weren’t dating nor ever have.  Gissell would never believe this and yelled at him for lying but her opinion of him never changed.  As the years progressed, Jenn always referred to Larry as Qeo Larry and Larry secretly embraced it. 

 

Larry is now a senior in high school.  Effie’s parents have decided to move back to their home country of Greece and since Effie is only a Junior in high school, Effie has to go with them.  Since Effie now knows she will not be graduating high school, she often cuts school and hangs out with Larry when he gets out of school.  She takes courses to become a nail technician but basically she’s just partying and enjoying her remaining time in America before moving to Greece, where there will be even more partying.  Larry is a dork so doesn’t go partying with Effie but they do hang out often and Effie’s mom has become used to Larry being at her house a lot.  Even though Effie’s siblings have long moved out of their parents’ house, they run into Larry enough to be familiar with him. 

 

                On March 21, 2002, Larry is still a senior in high school.  Three days prior, his grandfather died, which was a downer for his birthday two days ago.  Today is his grandfather’s funeral.  For the past eight years, his best friend had been dealing with cancer sporadically popping up before he beats it and then lays dormant for years before coming back.  At this time, Larry believes his best friend is cancer free, but that is not the case.  He recently went to a Cleveland Cavaliers game with him as they both loved basketball.  Seeing his friend in a wheelchair should’ve been a sign that everything was not fine but his friend told him that he merely had a cyst on his pelvis that stopped blood flow to his legs.  It was a minor thing that would be cleared up with a quick surgery that was imminent.  Larry believed this pretty much because he wanted to.  Larry got ready for his grandfather’s funeral, and after going through the service, the cemetery and the luncheon afterward, he and his family went bowling to get their mind off of what happened.  When Larry arrived home, he went into his basement to watch the World Wrestling Federation’s Smackdown, which aired on Thursday nights.  While watching it, his friend called him and asked if he’d heard about Drew.  Drew was the name of Larry’s best friend.  He often fielded these phone calls because rumors kept spreading about Drew’s health not being very good.  Larry spent time with Drew and Drew always denied these claims so Larry didn’t believe what anyone else had to say.  The news Larry was receiving now, however, is pretty cut and dry.  Jimmy, his friend, had trouble getting it out but then he just said, “Well, I heard that Drew died.”

Larry responded, “Look, I don’t know if that’s true, I haven’t heard anything but I’m going to call over there and find out.” 

Larry wasn’t sad when he hung up the phone.  He was mad.  Mad that someone would dare spread a rumor of that magnitude.  Surely, if things were that bad he would have heard about it.  Larry called Drew’s personal line and got no answer.  He then called the main house line and Drew’s mom picked up crying.  Larry knew that these weren’t rumors.  It was true.  He didn’t need to hear the next words from Drew’s mom to know but they came anyway, “We lost him.”

Three simple words that absolutely destroyed Larry.  The next words did nothing to console him as Drew’s mom continued, “Thank you for being such a good friend to him.”

All Larry could think of was how wrong those words were.  If he was such a good friend he would have seen him more.  He would have been at the house.  He could’ve done more.  He just didn’t know.  Larry mumbled something incoherently acknowledging that he heard and hung up the phone.  He then threw the phone onto a couch across from him, turned off the TV, and screamed very loudly.  By this time, Larry’s parents had heard the news on their own and came down to console Larry.  Larry heard them coming downstairs and he snapped, “Go back upstairs, I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.” 

Larry’s family obeyed.  The pain he felt about losing his grandfather was gone.  He was crying hysterically and screaming at the TV.  It didn’t last long.  He took a deep breath and turned the TV back on to finish his show.  At this exact moment, Larry had lost all faith in the world.  He instinctively knew what would happen in nine months.  All he had to do now was do some calculations and then wait.

 

                December 31, 2002, Larry is now a freshman in college at New York University.  He spent Christmas with his family before coming back to his dorm in New York.  For this is the day that he had been waiting for.  Today he was officially the same age as Drew when he died.  Larry had planned to go to Times Square to watch the ball drop secretly hoping that it was not going to be a site he’d actually see.  He got to Times Square at 4:00PM.  He was doing this alone thinking that it was dangerous to be a in a mob of people on New Year’s Eve in Times Square.  Both his parents were from New York and they always told him how dangerous the city was.  Larry had only been there for four months so didn’t realize that the New York he lived in now was not the New York of the 70s that his parents grew up in.  No, Larry was hoping that his parents were right, that something was going to kill him in New York City on this day.  It was unseasonably warm in New York on New Year’s Eve; 60 degrees but Larry was dressed like it was 20 degrees.  He had layered up because even though he chose to live in New York where it gets cold, he couldn’t really handle the cold.  Larry stood outside of Bubba Gump restaurant on Broadway and watched Times Square fill up.   At 6:00, he saw the ball rise and at every hour, the screen on 42nd street did a mock countdown that the crowd participated in to prepare them for the real one at midnight.  The hours continued and finally it happened.  Larry may have been the only person in Times Square that didn’t see the ball drop that night.  He was staring at the screen just like he had seven times previously but the ball is above the screen.  Larry always wrote this off as just something he did.  He did what people just don’t do.  Who stands in one spot for eight hours with a bunch of people to do one thing and not do that thing?  When the countdown was over, Larry bowed his head.  Everyone was cheering and happy.  New Year’s Day, a time to start over, a new year, new goals, new opportunity to correct past mistakes and move forward.  Another chance; at least that’s what most people think.  To Larry, he was disappointed.  For now, he had officially lived longer on Earth than Drew.  At this precise moment, Larry had lost his fear of death.  As the crowd dispersed, Larry made his way to the subway to go back to his dorm.  After all, what else could he do?  He was alive and well.  He knew he couldn’t bring himself to commit suicide and was hoping that someone would do it for him.  Nobody did so now while most of the world is hopeful, Larry is disheartened and returned alone to his dorm room having to live with the consequence that every day henceforth is a day he doesn’t deserve.

 

                The years progressed and Larry had no idea how not fearing death could open the world for him.  He had seen and done many things from canyon jumping in the Alps in Switzerland to visiting India.  As Larry grew older, he got more jaded.  His relationship with his immediate family only deteriorated despite his brother moving to New York and he living with him for a while.  The only thing he knew he liked was travelling so he opted to see at least one new country every year and he had done that.  He was now 26-years-old, had a job that paid his bills and allowed him to pay rent and be financially independent from his parents.  Also, a mentality he never knew how much he’d appreciate until it happened.  Growing up with a father that was a doctor always on the cutting edge of the new advancement in Ophthalmology, gave him a great childhood and he never wanted for money.  Now, however, he earned his money and even if the money he had access to was less than before, he’d take this over his previous state any day of the week.  Effie had moved back to America with her husband.  Her and Larry miraculously kept in contact during her five-year-stay in Greece and remained close friends.  When Larry returned to Cleveland, Ohio, where he grew up, he found himself hanging out with Effie’s family rather than his own.  Effie’s family had always accepted Larry for the way he was and didn’t try to change him the way his own family did.  Many criticized Larry that he sought “yes-men” instead of real friends.  Larry knew, however, that his friends told him when he screwed up; they just did it only when Larry screwed up by his own morality, not someone else’s.  Most people preached their morality upon Larry and became enraged when he wasn’t apologetic or guilty that Larry violated their rules.  To Larry, however, he was very upfront how he was and what he believed and if people couldn’t handle that, they didn’t have to associate with him.  He treated everyone this way, including his family, who thought that merely sharing blood would exempt them; it didn’t.  As Larry would spend holidays in Cleveland with Effie’s family, all of Effie’s nieces and nephews, which now numbered at eight, called him Qeo Larry.  Larry had stopped fighting it and started calling them his nieces and nephews as well.  Jenn was now in high school and like many high school girls, she was dating.  Effie and Larry spoke often so Larry knew about Jenn’s boyfriend Soha.  On the surface, it was very cliché, Soha played high school football at the high school that he and Jenn attended and Jenn was a cheerleader at the same school.  It really couldn’t get more cliché.  Larry, however, never met Soha.  Effie was very vocal about how much she hated Soha and found him to be rude and disrespectful and whenever she was in their presence, she always yelled at him for sexually touching Jenn in front of her and other things.  Effie was not a prude.  Not only was she fully aware that Jenn and Soha were sexually active, she had details as Jenn had a very open relationship with her mother about it.  Effie spoke to her sister often, so got the details from her.  This doesn’t mean, however, that Effie wanted to see it.  Soha never understood that and thought Effie crazy for always yelling at him.  Due to Effie’s feelings for Soha, whenever there was a family holiday, Effie would complain incessantly, loudly and in no unclear terms that Soha was not allowed to come because he’s not part of the family.  Larry, however, was always invited to holidays and Jenn protested this but Effie was very clear that Larry was family and Soha was not.  A couple years later, Effie would make this official by accepting Larry’s offer to baptize her first child.  In the Greek Orthodox faith, this is how you make a non-blood relative family.  To Effie’s family and Larry, it merely made official something that was already true.  It’s not that Jenn had a problem with Larry; on the contrary, when Larry showed up, she would get so excited she would run and jump in his arms to give him a hello. It was just that she wanted her boyfriend to be included as well.  Jenn’s relationship with Soha would end and Effie would be undefeated in successfully getting Soha not to be invited for family holidays. 

 

                Jenn had graduated high school and was off to college at Butler.  She and Soha had long been broken up, which is why she thought it was weird that Soha had been constantly calling her and leaving messages that he had to talk to her.  Jenn was a very nice person by nature so being rude didn’t come easily to her.  Finally she gave in and called Soha to see what he wanted. After she called and Soha picked up, he said, “There’s something I really need to tell you.”

                “What is it Soha?”

                “I just want you to know that while we dated, I cheated on you like seven times.” And hung up.

                Jenn immediately called her mom to tell her what happened.  In ways that is very familiar if you’ve ever known a woman, word quickly got from Gissell to Effie who called Larry.  Effie told Larry what Soha had said and then said, “So, Soha goes to school in Philadelphia, New York isn’t too far from Philly right?”

                Larry knew what she was getting at.  Larry did love Jenn, but he was able to stay objective on this one.  He told Effie that he had never met Soha and he was oblivious so trying to find him on a college campus going only by a photo was not something he was confident he could do.  That, and Soha is out of Jenn’s life.  Jenn probably won’t be accepting any more correspondence from him.  Larry was angry but what Effie was asking seemed ridiculous.  He knew he told Effie that he was willing to kill and die for Jenn but this just didn’t seem like a necessary time to do so.  Part of Larry believed he was breaking his word, something he held very sacred, but in the end, whether it was cowardice or flakiness, Larry could live with not killing Soha over the phone call.  Effie understood and got off the phone with a feeling that men nowadays renege on their duties.  She took her womanly duties seriously, she quit her job to raise her daughter while keeping the house clean and providing a home cooked meal for her husband.  The unspoken agreement was she did her part but if someone needs killing, the men take care of that.  She refused to have a gun in the house and when people asked about protecting her home, she replied, “I have a husband for that.  Anything happens, he gets in the way and dies so me and my kids can get away safe.”  That’s all she asks of the man.  Between this and her brother refusing to get involved with her abusive brother-in-law of her estranged older sister made her think that although men talked tough, when it came down to crunch time, they always had an excuse why not to go to jail for the rest of their lives or die.  Her brother straight up told her that he had two kids and a wife, he can’t be going to jail or dying leaving a widow and two kids to be raised without a father just because her sister made a bad choice.  She quickly got over Soha getting away scot free on this one and went on with her life.

 

                Jenn is now a junior in college.  She spent her first semester studying abroad in Marseilles, France.  While there, she posted on Facebook that she was going on a weekend trip to Barcelona.  Larry had been to Barcelona when he was slightly younger than Jenn is now.  Larry went his second semester sophomore year while he was studying abroad in Florence.  Since Jenn and Larry’s birthdays were 16 days apart, they were of similar ages when they each took the trip.  Larry replied to Jenn’s Facebook message with, “Please take a picture in front of the Catedral Sacre Familia as it is my favorite building in the world.”  This was not an idle statement.  Larry had been to 30 countries, so best he’s seen was a pretty significant statement.  A few days later, after Jenn returned to France from Spain, she sent Larry a picture of her standing in front of the Catedral Sacre Familia.  When Larry pulled it up on his computer he stared at it for a while.  He didn’t really understand what was going on.  He had become so jaded and had such a disdain for people that he hadn’t felt what he was feeling now in a while so he didn’t recognize it.  He loved looking at the photo.  He found himself saying “awww” something that he almost never does.  Larry had long cut off his emotions from his brain, so intrusions such as this caught him off guard.  Larry didn’t like emotions because they weren’t rational and he didn’t like things that weren’t rational.  This is why he vowed never to get married and given that he hadn’t even dated anyone since high school, he seemed to be living up to this vow.   Seeing his niece, however, in front of his favorite building, did something to him.  Quickly, he tried to downplay it rationally.  He told himself that this is one of the, if not the, biggest tourist attraction in Barcelona, of course she took a picture in front of it.  This means nothing.  With today’s technology and people of Jenn’s generation not caring about privacy, Larry had an easy way to test this.  He opened up Jenn’s pictures on Facebook to see all of her Barcelona pictures.  Not a single one of her in front of anything except the one she sent him.  This was because Jenn travelled alone to Barcelona so didn’t want to stop anyone to ask for a photo, she merely acted as her own photographer and took pictures of things she liked.  This meant that she stopped and asked someone to take a picture with her in it specifically for Larry.  Larry loved this fact and then he figured out what he was feeling.  He didn’t want children.  Outside of his goddaughter, Jenn was the closest thing Larry had to a child.  This was like passing the torch, watching a child go out and do what he had done when he was that age.  That was a pretty cool feeling that even Larry’s jaded heart couldn’t deny.  He liked it so much he ordered a poster of it and hung it up in his apartment.

                Merely months after the picture, Larry got a text from Jenn that she was coming to New York.  As a junior and a member of the Butler cheerleading squad, she had been chosen to travel with the team to New York for the Big East tournament.  Larry was ecstatic.  He loved when people visited him in New York and often felt that he didn’t do enough when he hosted; A feeling that his guests never seemed to share with him.  The one odd thing about how excited Larry was to receive this text was that Effie told him Jenn was coming weeks ago.  Larry wrote it off as Effie shouldn’t tell him because maybe Jenn wouldn’t have time to see him so that’s why Jenn didn’t tell him she was coming.  This text proved those fears were wrong.  Jenn was very clear that there was a benefactor for Butler that travelled with the team and paid for their dinners.  She also would have to prepare for the games, so the only time she really had to see Larry given his work schedule was for lunch.  Larry worked near Madison Square Garden (MSG) where the Big East Tournament was being held and Jenn was staying across the street.  Larry said he’d meet her for lunch and that he would be going to Butler’s game to see her perform.  Larry loved basketball so this wasn’t much of a sacrifice but this was the first basketball game where he paid attention to the cheerleaders.  Even though most of Butler’s cheerleaders were brunette, Larry couldn’t tell which of the two blond ones was Jenn.  Effie warned him that even she couldn’t tell as the cheerleaders are heavily make upd for obvious reasons so look much different than they normally do.  After the game, Jenn found Larry in the concession area and they made plans for lunch the next day and Larry got a couple photos with her that he quickly sent to Effie and Gissell, who obviously loved them.  The first round of the Big East Tournament sees two games that are played back to back.  Butler was the first game.  You don’t buy tickets for the individual games; one ticket allows you to see both games.  Larry decided he’d stay for the second game.  Jenn understood and they agreed to see each other for lunch the next day.  What Larry didn’t realize, was he was right in his analysis of the photo, Jenn was like a kid to him, so all he could think about as he snuck down to better seats for the second game was, “I can’t believe I let Jenn go back to the hotel alone while wearing a cheerleader outfit.  I should have left the game and walked her across the street.”

                His reasoning seemed good at the time.  He’s with a friend, didn’t want his friend or him to waste their money by seeing one game when they could’ve seen two.  He texted Jenn to let him know she got to the hotel okay and got a quick reply that she did.  Of course she did, it was across the street.  Larry was relieved and wrote it off that he dodged a bullet.  Larry believed New York to be a safe city and the statistics backed it up as it was named the safest big city in the United States that year.  By all objective reasons, he shouldn’t have been worried but what he was beginning to realize was that when it came to Jenn, he was incapable of being objective.  He watched the second game and then went home.  He was upset that Butler had lost their game not really because he was rooting for them but because it meant that Jenn would have to leave New York sooner.  The next day, Larry told his co-workers he would be going on a longer than normal lunch because he was taking his niece out for lunch.  He usually had lunch with his supervisor, who really couldn’t have cared less how long he took for lunch or his reasoning.  He said okay and when it came time, Larry went to the hotel to get Jenn. He already picked out a restaurant on 43rd Street across from the side of Madison Square Garden.  It was abnormally cold that day and Larry worried that Jenn wasn’t wearing a hat.  Larry didn’t really think this through as he didn’t make a reservation thinking that it was lunch time, people grab quick food not sit down restaurants.  The restaurant was packed and they asked if Larry minded sitting at a six person table with two other groups of two.  Larry didn’t care and was seated and talked with Jenn.  When the bill came, Larry reached into his pocket and put down his credit card, he was delighted that Jenn didn’t even bother reaching to pay for the meal.  During lunch, Jenn told him about per diem or the amount of money that the university gives students that travel for school sponsored activities.  Jenn was given $400 for two days in New York.  Larry knew that Jenn didn’t have to pay for dinners so that basically didn’t include meals.  All this information made Larry worried that Jenn may try to chip in; he already rehearsed insisting that she keep the money.  The fact that no conversation was needed made him happy.  Larry chalked this up as moving on in life.  He remembered being a college student where people of his parents’ generation came to visit and insisted on taking them to a nice restaurant where he’d be treated.  Now, he was doing the treating of a college student he looked at as a niece.  He loved this new role of his.  Larry claimed to be a boy in many aspects and always told his friends he’d never grow up when they protested about how he lived his life and didn’t want to marry or have children.  That being said, he never looked back and wished to be at an earlier time in his life.  Sure his body couldn’t recover as quickly after a night of drinking as it once could and he probably couldn’t stand in Times Square for eight hours anymore, but he liked this new step better than the college step.  He had fun in college, now he was about to turn 30 in just a couple days.  Larry walked Jenn back to her hotel and when he got there he told himself to say good-bye but instead walked through the doors after her.  In his head, he kept telling himself to say good-bye and go back to work but he really didn’t want to say “bye” to Jenn.  They got to the elevator and Jenn turned to him to say good-bye.  He hugged her good bye and Jenn asked if he’d be in Cleveland for Easter.  Larry said no, and told Jenn when he was next scheduled to be in Cleveland.  Jenn informed him that she would still be in Indiana then.  Larry then said what was becoming apparent “So I’m not going to see you again for a very long time.”

                Jenn shrugged her shoulders, “Guess not.”

                Larry got a shit grin on his face and purposely walked toward Jenn and gave her another hug this time squeezing much harder savoring this moment because he wouldn’t get it again for a while.  Jenn returned the hug with the same intensity and Larry begrudgingly let go and walked out of the hotel to go back to work.  He hated leaving her but that’s just the way it went. 

                Effie called Larry and asked how it went teasing him a bit because she knew exactly what Jenn meant to him and she also knew that Larry tried very poorly to downplay how much it meant to him.  This time, though, Larry didn’t even try to downplay it.  He confided in Effie that he absolutely loved his lunch with Jenn.  Effie confirmed that Jenn told Gissell the same thing and that Jenn didn’t fault him for not walking her home after the game.  She was a big girl now; she could go across the street by herself.  This did nothing to assuage Larry’s guilt.

 

                The next year, Jenn was coming back for the Big East tournament.  Just like last year, Effie told Larry weeks before Jenn did.  Just like last year, this did nothing to minimize Larry’s excitement when Jenn texted him that she was coming.  This time, Jenn would see Larry the day before the game Butler was playing in. Also, this time Butler was the second game.  Jenn’s favorite food is French fries and she found a place online supposed to be some of the best fries in the United States.  This was actually closer to Larry’s work than Madison Square Garden and a stone’s throw from Larry’s freshman year dorm building.  Larry knew the place well and had frequented it on many drunken nights on the way home in college.  This was actually the first time he’d be going sober.  Larry was by no means a fries connoisseur, he looked at fries as distractions from his burger, but that’s where Jenn wanted to go, so that’s where he’d go.  He wanted to take her to an expensive place since college kids don’t normally get that luxury and he felt cheap.  He decided he’d just get multiple sauces as that’s what this place specialized in.  He met up with Jenn and they ate fries. Larry noticed that Jenn didn’t really like that Larry ate the fries with his hands while she used a fork.  Larry tried using a fork but lost the fry in the sauce so just gave up.  The fries were more filling than Larry thought and he was content with the lunch when they finished.  It also took a lot longer than he anticipated; he had been gone for a full hour.  He told himself that he’d recommend going to an expensive place after they finished the fries.  He had it all worked out, there was a restaurant called blue water grill in Union Square that had great seafood.  Now though, he really couldn’t say that because then his lunch would be at least two hours.  Nobody at work would mind but Larry would feel he was taking advantage.  Jenn, however, said, “Do you want to get something else, I feel bad because it wasn’t much food” Larry said, “Yes, but will you eat?”

                She shrugged her shoulders, “Yea, I’ll get something.”

                Larry took her for some pizza that he knew to be good.  He couldn’t remember if they accepted credit cards though, he walked in and asked.  Jenn said sarcastically with no conviction in her voice, “I could use some per diem money”

                Despite the nonchalant way she said it, Larry still gave her a dirty look that she’d even suggest such a thing.  The place did accept credit cards and Larry ordered two slices and Jenn one.  They sat and ate and talked some more.  Larry knew that the sole reason he came there was to extend his time with Jenn, he wasn’t that hungry.  Eventually though, the pizza was done and he needed to go back to work.  He went with Jenn to the subway and showed her which train she was taking.  Since the subway had already come when they walked down, Larry pointed it out and Jenn hopped on.  Larry knew that he wasn’t going on the same train he waved and said “Bye Jenn” loudly and she said bye from the train.  Larry contemplated running inside to give her a hug but then the doors would close and he would have to take the train the opposite direction.  He left the station and went to work disappointed that he didn’t get to hug his niece goodbye not comforted in the slightest that the next day, he’d see her again.

                Butler’s game went into overtime, which meant that the game didn’t end till after midnight.  Butler blew a late lead and Xavier forced it to overtime before beating them.  It was a heartbreaking loss if you were a Butler fan.  Larry had good seats on Butler’s side of the court.  He did get up and scream Jenn’s name while she was performing in front of him but she showed no reaction.  Larry thought that she couldn’t hear him but she was really close.  Larry refrained from any more outbursts thinking that Jenn, though facing him, couldn’t see him.  He couldn’t really fathom how this worked, many people left as it was a Thursday night and after midnight.  He was very close to the court but it was just one of those things.  Larry enjoyed the empty stadium so leaned to the side and stretched his legs out and lounged as he watched the game and Butler perform in front of him.  After the game, he climbed the stairs and waited in the concession area for Jenn like he did the year before.  He saw security guards shuffling people out.  This time was different, last time there was another game so nobody thought it weird with him sticking around.  Now, the security guards were eyeing him.  He saw people go back into the seats and he decided to follow them.  He saw the Butler cheerleaders taking pictures on the court of Madison Square Garden so decided he’d just wait till they went back to the locker room before going out.  Some of the player’s parents were fighting with the security guards that since they had wrist bands, they were allowed to go down.  The security guards told them what corner the team bus was at and they had to go there to see anyone.  At this point, Jenn waived to Larry from the court and motioned for him to come down. Larry put up his arms and said, “They won’t let me”

                Larry didn’t say it loudly so was surprised that Jenn completely understood the message.  She nodded her head okay and held up one finger signaling him to wait a minute.  She then started talking to the on-court security guard.  This exchange made Larry think that Jenn could see him during the game as he was much closer then.  He regretted not being more into it and screaming louder for her.  The security guard by Larry got a message over his radio to let them down.  He signaled for the parents to go down and Larry didn’t waste any time making his way to the court.  Larry’s college graduation was on the court of Madison Square Garden but that didn’t mean he wasn’t thrilled to return; especially with who was waiting for him.  He heard the parents behind him still yelling at the security guard from not letting them go right away.  Larry didn’t break stride but said, “Why are you still fighting? we won.” And thanked the security guard as he walked past him.  He walked up behind Jenn just in time to hear her say, “Is it alright if he just comes down to say ‘hi’” with a huge cute smile on her face that women seem to reserve for when they want men to do something for them.

                The security guard said, “Well, where is he?”

                Jenn said, “Right here” and pointed to Larry. 

                Larry didn’t know if Jenn knew he was standing there when she asked the question or not.  It seemed like a moot point since Larry was able to fanangle himself down but he didn’t ask.  They talked briefly.  Jenn was upset about the loss and not looking forward to the double digit hour bus ride back the next day.  Larry tried sounding upbeat to cheer her up but it didn’t seem to be working.  It was a tough loss.  Jenn told him she should go and Larry asked for a picture.  The security guard took it.  The first picture Larry put his arm around Jenn and grabbed her bicep squeezing much harder than he intended.  He really didn’t want to let her go.  A voice in his head told him to let go of her so he eased his grip and then slid his hand down her arm to confirm that he didn’t have a tight grip for the second picture.  When Larry looked at both pictures he was shocked that Jenn’s expression didn’t betray how hard he was squeezing her arm during the first picture.  Again, Larry sent the pictures to Effie and told her to show Gissell.  While Larry was walking up the stairs, Jenn said, “I love you.”

                It froze Larry dead in his tracks.  He knew he loved Jenn, but he’s not quite sure if they ever said it before.  He turned his head and said, “I love you too” a little more mumbled than how he wanted to but he was still recovering from the surprise.  He reasoned to himself that there was nothing wrong with it.  He just couldn’t fathom that now that his brother had two kids of his own that he saw two months ago, he didn’t feel a connection with them like he did for Jenn.  He texted Jenn later saying how much he loved their time together and finished the text with “I love you”

                Jenn didn’t respond till the following day but she mirrored Larry’s sentiments.  When Larry spoke to Effie he was very vocal about how he didn’t understand how Jenn meant so much to him.  Larry always told Effie that his goddaughter was number one, but now Effie told him that she thinks Jenn has taken over.  To Larry though, he didn’t buy presents for Jenn for Christmas, Easter, and birthdays nor get Jenn souvenirs when he travelled like he did with his goddaughter.  He still thought the goddaughter was higher but Jenn was just old enough to prove that she would choose to see Larry if she happened to be in the same state as him.  Larry was sad that there would be no more seeing Jenn at Big East Tournament games since she was graduating that year.  Even on court, he told Jenn “Tough way to end a career” forgetting about the NCAA tournament in a week, in which Larry had been making multiple brackets for every year for about as long as he could remember.  Larry was merely saying what he felt, end of his seeing Jenn during her career.  Jenn told him if that was the last game she’d be crying.  Larry thought that day was coming soon because after what he saw of Butler that day, they weren’t that good.  Butler had two shocking years not too long ago in the NCAA tournament so maybe they would again.  It was only two years, hardly a tradition but Larry was sad that seeing Jenn at MSG was over nonetheless.  So much so, that when Butler got by their first round opponent in the big tournament the next week, Larry contemplated renting a car and going to Pittsburgh where Butler would play Notre Dame in the round of 32.  Larry had no faith that Butler could beat Notre Dame despite the experts saying it would be a good matchup.  The same experts picked Butler to get upset in the first round though.  It snowed during that weekend and Larry found out from Effie that Jenn’s current boyfriend was driving in from Chicago to see her in Pittsburgh.  Larry was comforted that Kenan, Jenn’s current boyfriend, would be there for her when she was crying.  There was no reason for him to go and travelling in the snow was not ideal.  Then he came to the final conclusion which was the hardest, Jenn doesn’t need him there and would prefer Kenan to be there.  He didn’t rent the car, he didn’t go, Butler lost in overtime.  A result he would have thought he caused if he’d gone considering every Butler game he saw, they lost, and the last one was in overtime.  He sent a consolatory text to Jenn congratulating her on a great career and highlighting some of the high points that he saw such as being involved with the Superbowl when it was in Indianapolis, court of Madison Square Garden twice and having home games on the court where they filmed Hoosiers and that’s just the basketball part. 

                Jenn texted back “Thanks Qeo Larry”

                Larry responded, “XOXO” and Jenn never responded.

                At this point Larry told himself to stop reaching out to Jenn.  He was getting too attached and most people he became too attached with he lost by pissing them off to the point they stopped talking to him or death.  He often pushed people away for getting too close.  Effie was not exempt from this but she didn’t go anywhere when he pushed.  It was a part about him he wanted to eliminate but he never could and lost faith he ever would.  He couldn’t deal with Jenn hating him but then again he said that maybe that means he doesn’t look at her as a kid because a parent has to make their kids hate them or else they’re probably doing something wrong.  No, he never wanted to be Jenn’s parent; he wanted to be her uncle.  Hang out with her when they’re in the same place and hardly have much contact with her.  That means he’d have to resist the urge to text her.  He kept telling Effie about his confusion about his connection to Jenn, which meant Gissell knew of his confusion.  Gissell loved Larry, always had, and she put it in clear terms for him through Effie, “I don’t understand your confusion, you watched her grow up, she’s grown up, you’ve always had a connection, you’ve always loved spending time together.” 

                Larry knew that every aspect of that statement was right.  He knew that that was the answer but it just wouldn’t settle in.  He counted the days until he’d see Jenn again at Effie’s second daughter’s baptism.  That would mark seven weeks since the Big East Tournament.  The time would go by extremely slowly.

 

                Larry flew to Cleveland in May for the baptism.  He knew that Effie sat him at Jenn’s table and he couldn’t help but think of the first child’s baptism in which he was the godfather.  That was when he knew Gissell loved him.  Gissell would always give him big hugs and say things like, “Where were you before I met my husband?” To which Larry simply responded, “young.”  Later, they realized Larry was seven when this happened, not exactly a prime age.  It took a long time for Larry to tell Effie that he thought Gissell was hitting on him but after the baptism, when he was officially part of the family, he told her.  Effie responded, “People get that vibe from Gissell all the time, she’s just very affectionate and huggy, and people mistake it for flirting a lot, but it’s nothing.”

                Larry was also touchy and he had a sister of his own that was very affectionate.  Growing up people thought his older sister and brother were dating based on how they acted around each other.  He thought he knew what affectionate and touchy but not flirting was like.  He said as much and gave his evidence. Larry had an overabundance of the hormone DHT, which led to his hair loss and caused him to sweat profusely.  Larry was completely used to dripping sweat whenever the temperature climbed above 75 no matter what he was wearing and it didn’t stop him from loving the heat.  Since Greek events are formal, Larry has to wear a suit, which means while Greek dancing, something else he loves, Larry would be pouring sweat.  Given that Greek dancing requires you to be either holding hands or shoulder to shoulder with people, it grossed some people out but Larry took advantage of the fact the people are willing to inconvenience themselves than to be seen as rude by refusing to dance with someone when the dance requires a group of people to be linked.  During a slow dance, Gissell danced with Larry and danced closely.  Larry didn’t care about personal space so welcomed it but given his current state he said, “Sorry for sweating so much.”

                Gissell then pulled Larry in and licked the sweat off his face.  Being licked seemed to have only one explanation; flirting to Larry.  When Larry mentioned this to Effie, she was mortified at how disgusting that is.  She then agreed that maybe Larry had a point about Gissell’s feelings for him. 

                Effie had told Larry that Kenan was coming to the baptism.  Larry found out from Jenn that Kenan had tickets to see Mayweather vs. Pacquioa, a fight five years in the making.  Larry wasn’t a boxing fan but even he was enticed by this.  He congratulated Jenn at having Kenan so whipped he would miss the fight for her cousin’s baptism.  Jenn merely thanked him and didn’t even try to deny her power.  When Larry talked to Effie he told her to let Kenan go to the fight and that it was mean.  Effie told him that she had nothing to do with it, which surprised Larry.  Effie chalked it up to that it was a time for Kenan to meet the family since their relationship was serious and it seemed that next year there would be a wedding.   This was a good chance for the family to meet Kenan and vice versa.  Larry thought there were other events in the next year for this but it wasn’t his place to say anything.  Jenn wanted him there so Kenan was coming.  He couldn’t help but think how different this was from high school with Soha where Effie vetoed Jenn.  Larry knew that the explanation was very simple.  Effie liked Kenan.  Larry had met Kenan briefly the previous year.  Effie wanted him to threaten him but Larry was in town for a wedding and with all the running around for the rehearsal, he was exhausted by the time he got to Gissell’s house and met Kenan.  He was just coherent enough to see if anything red flagged.  He had a sixth sense about telling if someone was friend or foe within five minutes of meeting them and his track record was very good.  Nothing red flagged with Kenan so he let the threatening go that time.  On his way to Pittsburgh, Soha stopped in Cleveland and got introduced to friends of the family.  He received six or seven death threats on what would happen if he broke Jenn’s heart.  This is something that Midwest boys are used to growing up.  Larry never liked that nobody threatened him; it was always “You’re the first boy I’ve ever trusted my daughter with.” At first it was a compliment, then it got old, then it was insulting.  They all knew what Larry knew; he wouldn’t be hooking up with the girl, he was no threat because he had no game.  He told Effie that he’d threaten Kenan this time to which she laughed and said, “Please do” almost feeling sorry for him for finding out how much people love Jenn.

                Larry knew that Kenan was flying into Cleveland around the same time he was.  Effie offered to have Jenn pick them both up but Larry wanted to spend some time with his friend in Cleveland. Since he wouldn’t be in Cleveland long and the baptism would consume most of his time, he was going to use as much non-baptism time to spend with other people in Cleveland that didn’t include his blood family.  Kenan recognized Larry at the baggage claim and greeted him.  Larry shook his hand and told him it was nice to see him again.  Larry then got into overprotective uncle mode and put his hand on Kenan’s shoulder and said, “Look, last time I met you I was too exhausted to say this, I just kept the sensors up to see if you’re a piece of shit or not, and nothing red flagged, I think you’re a good kid so that’s that.”  Kenan nodded and thanked him but then realized the speech wasn’t over.  Larry continued as if Kenan hadn’t spoken, “I know that six or seven people have said this before so it’s nothing new for you.  But just in case maybe you think that some of these people have families and David (Jenn’s dad) has a kid in high school and a wife that depends on him, maybe he won’t carry through.  I mean I wouldn’t bet on it, David has guns, but maybe you’re comforted by that.  And maybe you think that technically there is no blood relation between me and Jenn so you’re safe.  You’re not, I have siblings with kids and I love Jenn more than my blood nieces and nephews.  I have no wife, no kids, nor do I ever plan on having any of them.  There is nobody depending on me; I’ve wanted to die for 13 years, so I don’t value my life too much.  All I like is travelling, and I’ve been to 32 countries and 30 states, that’s not bad for a lifetime.  So, the decision to give up my life is pretty easy.  So, if you hurt or do anything egregious to Jenn to prove me wrong in thinking you’re a good guy, I will kill you and there’s nothing to really stop me. I carry a knife wherever I go” as he pulled up his shirt to show that a knife was clipped to his waist despite just having got off a plane.  He continued “I mean I love Chicago, it’s only like $300 for a last minute flight to Chicago.  I can spend the rest of my life in Chicago even if it is jail.  I mean” as Larry started smiling “We all die, so to think that I can go out by sacrificing my life getting revenge for someone like Jenn; that would be awesome!!”  Larry looked up as if he was contemplating something and continued very slowly as if he wasn’t sure about the next statement, “No, no, it wouldn’t be worth the joy I would have from killing you for what you did to Jenn because that would mean Jenn would be hurt and I wouldn’t want that.  Jenn’s pain wouldn’t be worth my joy, so I am rooting for you not to give me an opportunity to sacrifice my life and go to jail for the rest of my life to get revenge for Jenn.  So don’t give me a reason.” He sped up and started in a casual tone, “Now, I’m a reasonable man, don’t think like if it comes a point that the spark isn’t there and you don’t want to marry Jenn anymore, and you respectfully break it off, I’ll understand.  Jenn will be devastated but I’ll be able to see the bigger picture.  Jenn is ready for marriage, so if you’re not willing to marry her, it’s only fair to her that you let her go.  It’s actually unfair of you to string her along.  So don’t stay with her because you’re afraid of me.  I can’t speak for the other six or seven people but as far as I’m concerned, simply breaking up with her because the fire is gone is not grounds for your death.  If there’s any confusion or anything you want me to clarify, you can feel free to contact me at any time.”

                Kenan stared at Larry horrified.  Larry actually sounded like he wanted to kill him.  He nodded his head and said okay and then an awkward silence ensued.  Luckily, his phone rang and it was Jenn telling him that she was circling around and to look for her car.  Larry’s friend pulled to the curb and Larry got in the car, said bye to Kenan and told him he’d see him tomorrow as if he hadn’t just threatened his life.  Shortly after, Kenan got into Jenn’s car still reeling from Larry’s death threat.  The other six or seven were simple statements, “You hurt her/break her heart I’ll kill you.”  Larry’s was a speech and he didn’t sound too convincing that he was rooting for Kenan not to fuck up.   He didn’t say anything about it to Jenn though because he didn’t think Larry wanted him to.

 

                The next day Larry’s friend dropped him off at the baptism and Larry sat at the table with Jenn and Kenan and acted normally.  Kenan was emboldened by Gissell and David enough to act normally.  He didn’t doubt that Gissell and David liked him and he decided last night that there was nothing to worry about, he loved Jenn and had no intention of ever hurting her.  During dinner, Gissell talked about work with Larry.  Larry was polite but Gissell’s job was at a mortuary where she prepared bodies for burial or cremation.  Larry wasn’t an expert on proper dinnertime conversation but this didn’t seem like a time for it.  Then the mood changed dramatically.  Gissell, David and Jenn got real tense as they stared toward the doorway.  Larry followed their eyes and saw a kid that looked to be about Jenn’s age standing with a huge devilish smile on his face staring right back at them.  Kenan noticed it to and looked around and said, “What’s going on?”

                Gissell said, “That’s Soha”

                Jenn lowered her head and said, “My ex-boyfriend, I don’t know why he’s here.”

                David got up from the table and walked over there.  Larry followed close behind; David pointed to the door and said, “You got to go.”

                Soha said, “What? I’m just sending my congratulation to Effie.”

                David began to say something but Larry interrupted, he held out his hand and said, “Hey, it’s Soha, you were the star football player at Avon like four or five years ago right?”

                Soha smiled at David and extended his hand saying “Yea”

                Larry lunged his hand to Soha’s throat and jammed his thumb into one carotid artery and his four fingers on the other and cupped his Adam’s Apple.  Larry had used this maneuver before and the person was unwilling to continue the fight after merely about two seconds.  It is very debilitating as it cuts blood flow to the brain but since there is no pressure on the hyoid bone, there is no risk of killing the person. This allows Larry to squeeze as hard as he possible can and he was.  The body goes into panic mode because the brain’s ability to send messages is slowed and if you’re not familiar with the maneuver, which Soha is not, you don’t know that your life isn’t in danger.  Larry then said, “Who the fuck cares?  I’m from a school that matters, like Ignatius” referencing his high school that holds an Ohio record for the most football state championships.  David raised his eyebrows as Larry didn’t even break stride as he dragged Soha toward the doorway arched back as Larry was passed him with his hand reaching back still on his throat.  Larry understood a basic premise with the human anatomy; if you control the neck, you control the head, which controls the body.  Larry had firm control over Soha’s neck so he could make his body go anywhere he wants.  As if to illustrate this point, when he got to the doorway he extended his arm to the side causing Soha’s head to crash into the wall before exiting the room.  Soha tried speaking but his voice was strained from the hold.  He gurgled out, “Okay, I’ll go, you made your point, I’m sorry.”

                Larry didn’t seem to hear him as he continued out another doorway into the parking lot.  He looked down at Soha and said, “Give me your keys”

                Soha had already decided he wasn’t going to struggle anymore. He already tried grabbing Larry’s arm and forcing his arm away from his neck only to realize that if Larry maintained his grip, Soha would have to rip his own throat out to accomplish that.  Based on the increased pain by his Adam’s Apple, it didn’t seem like Larry was going to ease his grip any time soon.  He reached into his pocket and gave Larry his keys.  Larry was happy to see that the panic button was on his keys as he didn’t know what Soha’s car looked like.  He walked around the parking lot hitting the panic button until he was in range for the car to beep.  He walked over to the car and forced the top half of Soha’s body over the hood.  Soha was pleading with Larry to let him go and apologized repeatedly but Larry was unsympathetic.  Larry looked down at him and said in a tone way too calm for Soha’s liking, “Remember after you broke up with Jenn, you kept calling her until she finally gave in and called you back?  There was something you needed to tell her do you remember what it was?”
                Soha’s eyes widened in horror.  He knew what Larry was getting at but couldn’t believe he was being punished for it years later.  He just said “sorry”

                Larry ignored the comment and continued, “Oh yea, I remember you wanted to tell her how many times you cheated on her.  That’s what was so fucking important.  Well, let’s see” as Larry pulled his pocket knife out of his pocket and pressed the one hand opener releasing a spring that sent out the blade.  “How many girls did you penetrate while dating Jenn?”  Soha shook his head and tried once again to struggle but Larry’s grip was too tight.  Larry continued “I’m going to use this knife to penetrate you the same amount of girls you cheated on Jenn with.  Now, if you want to show you really are sorry, you will answer my questions honestly.  Do you understand?”  Soha started crying and Larry repeated “Do you understand?” Soha nodded.  Larry continued, “There’s a debate amongst people on what the most painful spot to be stabbed is.  Some say it’s the hamstrings as Larry drove the knife into Soha’s right hamstring or….” Larry paused to gauge Soha’s reaction and if his throat could produce the sounds Soha would be yelling pretty loudly in pain.  His muffled cries were enough for Larry to realize that it indeed was painful.  Larry waited for Soha to try to breathe heavily not realizing that he couldn’t due to the chokehold.   Larry then said, “Or the Achilles” as he bent down and jammed his knife into Soha’s left Achilles tendon.  Soha made choke-like noises as he was in agonizing pain.  Larry was remorseless as he looked down and said, “Which hurt more?”  Soha just stared wide eyed at Larry and Larry rephrased to “1 or 2, what hurt more?  1st one or 2nd one? answer me!”  Kenan didn’t know which one to answer; he contemplated lying but then worried about the consequences.  Truth is both hurt extremely badly.  Soha’s heart sank as he heard the next word out of Larry’s mouth, “Retest” as Larry lunged his knife into Soha’s left hamstring and right Achilles.  He pulled Soha’s face to his and said, “Answer me!” in a forceful tone.

                Soha just muttered, “Please stop.”  The pain in his neck, though severe a moment ago, was masked by the much more severe pain in his legs.  Larry said, “If you can’t talk, put up one to four fingers.  One and three means the first and third, your hamstrings and two and four is the Achilles.  Soha felt dizzy, his vision blurred and everything started spinning.  He was beginning to lose consciousness from pain.  Larry drove his knife into both deltoids and said, “That’s six, how many times did you cheat on Jenn?  How many bitches?”

                Soha held up six fingers and interlocked his hands in an obvious sign for begging.  Larry pulled Soha from the hood and turned him around.  He opened the driver side door and bent Soha forward over the seat facing down.  He leaned over him and said, “It was seven, you lying fuck” and thrusted the knife into Soha’s brain stem killing him instantly.  Larry then heard a voice behind him say, “He’s too drunk to drive home, you should put him in the back.”  He turned around and relaxed his shoulders trying to snap out of his murderous rage but wasn’t prepared for what he saw.

 

                Jenn was not too far behind her dad and Larry when they confronted Soha.  She was going over there to see if she could solve the situation but it escalated rather quickly.  She walked back over to the table and sat next to Kenan.  She said, “Kenan, can you got out there and make sure qeo Larry doesn’t do anything serious.”

                Kenan stared at the entranceway to the hall and then looked at Jenn and said, “I’m sorry Jenn, but I don’t think it’s very safe for me out there.”

                Jenn smiled, “Oh come on, qeo Larry is a very nice guy, he won’t hurt you.”

                “Jenn, he may be nice to you.  But I don’t think given the state he is in right now, that he’ll be nice to me.  Just let this play out, he’ll calm down.”

                Jenn sighed, she could see the fear in Kenan’s eyes and she did believe he had a point.  She got up and went to find Effie.  Effie was dancing and Jenn came up to her and said, “Effie, can I talk to you?”

                Effie stopped dancing and walked to the side of the dance floor and said, “What’s up”

                “Well, I don’t know if you saw, but qeo Larry just dragged Soha outside and I’m worried he’s going to do something he’ll regret.  Can you go out there and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid?”

                “Jenn, this is my daughter’s baptism, I’m not dealing with your fucking high school drama right now.  You’re a big girl, this is your problem, not mine, I’m going to enjoy this night for my daughter.”

                Jenn was a little hurt by Effie’s reaction.  She lowered her head and walked away.  Effie bluffed a little bit.  She knew full well what happened and she wasn’t going to stop it because she wanted Larry to do his worst.  The longer Jenn walked around trying to get someone else to do her dirty work, the more likely Larry was going to finally kill Soha, just like she asked him to five years ago.  What Effie knew is that if Jenn were to walk outside the mere sight of her would calm Larry down and he would never be able to carry out what he needed to do.  Jenn just needed to not realize that for a while.

                Jenn looked back at the table and saw that her parents were sitting back down.  She walked over to her parents and decided to try the panicked approach.  She started crying and said, “You guys gotta do something, qeo Larry is going to kill him.  Someone has to stop him I don’t want anything to happen to qeo Larry.”

                David looked at Jenn and said, “Well I fully support whatever he does to that asshole, so I’m good.” Jenn should have expected this response but she was still a little taken aback by it. 

                Gissell looked at Jenn and said, “Jenn, I love you very very much, but if you really didn’t want him to do anything, you would be out there right now”

                “What?!”

                “Don’t look so surprised, you know your qeo Larry loves you right?”

                “Yea”

                “And you know he would never hurt you right?”

                “Yea” she said realizing where this was going

                “So, there’s no reason for you to be asking others to go out there.  You’re just trying to save face by pretending you tried to stop it so you can justify it to yourself.”

                Jenn scoffed and stormed off.  She got herself a drink and hung out with Kenan on the other side of the room.  Gissell then got up and left the hall.  She reasoned she had given Larry enough time to finish off Soha.  Now, she just needed to make sure he really wasn’t going to be as dumb as she thought he was going to be.  It wasn’t hard to find them in the parking lot, she walked toward them as Larry had Soha bent in the front seat.  She waited until Larry delivered the final blow before speaking up and saying “He’s too drunk to drive home.”

                When Larry turned around she gave him a look that let him know not to argue with her.  Larry reached into the car and eased Soha up to his feet and put his arm around his shoulder as if he was helping a drunk person walk.  Gissell opened the backseat door and Larry eased Soha’s lifeless body in the back lying face down.  Gissell reached in and ran her fingers through his hair as if consoling him that it would be alright.  She then slipped her fingers into his pockets and removed his cell phone.  She said, “I’ll take him home” and got out of the car dropping Soha’s cell phone on the asphalt as she climbed into the driver’s seat.

                Larry knew that he should get into the passenger seat but he was very confused what was going on.  Ever since he was outside, he never looked up just in case there were overhead cameras.  He didn’t know if it would help but he did it anyway.  Gissell started up the car and started driving.  She turned to Larry and said in Greek, “Drop your phone out of the car when I pull out of the parking lot.” Gissell had already left her phone in the dance hall with David so she didn’t have hers on her.  Larry did so and Gissell started driving.  She said, “Okay, now we can talk, you know where I work, yet you didn’t come get me.”

                “I was a little busy with Soha”

                “Yea, what was your plan?  Leave him dead in his car”

                “Yea, something like that”

                “Yea, pretty stupid plan, let me show you mine.”

                “Gissell, you can’t be involved in this.  There were probably cameras in the parking lot.  You have a kid in high school.  You can’t get linked to this.”

                Gissell glared at Larry, “Oh I already am linked.  If there were cameras, they will see what I did.”

                “It’s not too late”

                “Umm, I think it is but either way I’m doing this.”

                “Well if anyone asks, I’m going to tell them I forced you.”

                “Fine, but the whole point is to try to do this without anyone getting caught.”

                Gissell drove to work.  She had the keys and she knew how everything worked.  She opened the garage and brought Soha’s car inside.  She helped Larry transport the body inside where she laid it in a casket used for cremation.  She started up the crematory and helped Larry pick the casket up onto the rollers and when the crematory was satisfactorily heated up, she slid the casket in as flames engulfed it on either side.  She led Larry into a room and said, “Now, that should take three hours, in the meantime, here is some cleaning supplies including stuff to get blood out of fabric.  You should go clean the car.  Larry did as he was told and thoroughly cleaned Soha’s car inside and out.  When he returned, Gissell said, “Now, tell me everything you did to that piece of shit.”

                It didn’t take too long for Larry to recant everything that happened while he was outside.  Gissell smiled at every detail.  When he finished, she said, “Thanks Larry.”

                Larry said, “My pleasure” before he caught himself.  That was actually true but he didn’t want to admit that he did feel good about it.

                Gissell caught it and asked, “How do you feel now?”

                Larry didn’t bother lying, “To be honest Gissell, I feel good.  I don’t regret it at all.  I mean who just shows up after five years like that.  He went out of his way to be an asshole.  That’s not withstanding what he did back then with those incessant phone calls.  I mean who does that?  That’s stalkerish.  Jenn needs to know that he’s out of her life for good.  I know that I may end up in jail for this, but I’m kind of willing for that.”

                Gissell just nodded.  “You did the right thing.”

                Larry Davidled, “You may not be very objective on that point.”

                “I know, but neither are you.”

                “True”

                Gissell turned on the TV they had and she and Larry hung out talking and watching TV until the three hours were up.  After which, Gissell went to the area where they dispose of the bones, cleaned the crematory and deposited the waste where it normally goes.  She put Soha’s ashes in a Tupperware container and put it in Soha’s car.  She called David from work and told him to come pick her up and told her where to look for Larry’s phone.   When David arrived, they got into Soha’s car and David followed them.  Gissell drove to a development in which she didn’t know anyone and parallel parked the car before her and Larry exited and got into David’s car.  David handed Larry his phone and drove Larry back to his hotel and he and Gissell went home.  Jenn had her own car and drove separately from them so she could get back.  Gissell contemplated going back to the baptism with Larry as a message to Kenan but decided not to.  David owned a bar and wanted to go check in there.  Gissell knew it would be a long night for David so she went home and went to sleep.  She had no remorse over what she did.  As soon as she got to work, tending to Soha’s body was the same as any of the other corpses she’s handled.  She felt relief that Soha was gone but during the process she felt nothing.  She felt pleasure in dumping Soha’s ashes down a sewer drain.  That’s exactly where a piece of shit like him belonged.  There was one thing that was bothering her though but she tried to suppress it.

                Larry got to his hotel and immediately took off his suit and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed.  He slept in his boxers and lied down replaying the event in his head over and over.  At first he booked an early flight the night after the baptism to minimize his time in Cleveland.   Now, it was working in his favor because he had to get out of town fast.  He was comforted that there was no way Soha’s family knew him and hoped that Effie’s family would protect him.  He kicked himself for not using his sports coat to cover his head but figured Soha could have pulled it off in the parking lot.  Being bald made him easily identifiable.  Truth is he expected to get caught and he was okay with it.  It was true what he told Kenan, he was willing to sacrifice his life for Jenn.  He told himself, he wouldn’t change his routine.  He wouldn’t borrow a car and drive to New York paying for the owner to fly to New York to pick it up.  He would just get through the night and on a plane tomorrow morning as if nothing happened in Cleveland.  If he gets arrested, he gets arrested.  Despite coming to terms with this, he couldn’t sleep.  No matter how much he thought about it though, he was still convinced he didn’t feel bad about it.  Suddenly he heard a knock at the door.  Well, that was faster than he thought.  He walked to the door and opened it ready to see the authorities.  Instead he saw Gissell.  Gissell pushed her way into the room and shoved Larry onto the bed.  She was wearing a T-Shirt and shorts.  She removed both while taking off her shoes and straddled Larry.  She started kissing him before Larry could fully comprehend what was happening.  He nudged her back and said, “Gissell, what are you doing?”

                “I know you’ve never had a woman make you cum from sex.  I’m going to take that challenge.”

                “You’re married.”

                “We both know the circumstances of my marriage.”

                “Still…” but Gissell cut him off by kissing him.  Larry couldn’t resist, he kissed back and lied back as Gissell kissed down his neck and midsection all the way down to the waist as she eased his boxers down.  She stood up and took off her bra and panties and straddled Larry inserting his penis into her vagina.  He bent forward and thrust her breasts over Larry’s face riding him hard.  She said, “You can cum in me all you want, my tubes are tied.”

                Larry had only had sex once.  He was not experienced and thus no match for Gissell.  It didn’t take Gissell long to get him to climax.  Once she did however, she sat up and gyrated slowly.  Larry struggled as he needed a break for his penis to go through the limp phase before continuing any sexual activity.  Gissell knew this but still continued.  She looked at Larry and said, “Now, there’s something I need to clear up with you.”

                “Okay, can you get off me?”

                “Oh no, you have to suffer for this part.”

                Larry struggled but he didn’t dare throw Gissell off him.  He was very anti-violence against women.  Gissell knew this and exploited it she started, “Now, I know you love my daughter very much but not nearly as much as I do.  I know you were trying to help but do you have any idea how devastated she would have been if you went to jail for the rest of your life because of her?  What the fuck were you thinking?  I know you’re willing to die for Jenn, but only if you have to.  You need to prevent it and it was easy to at least try to prevent this.  You wanted to get caught, and that is not acceptable because that would have hurt my daughter.”

                Larry was tapping out during the speech and just screamed out, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking”

                “No, you weren’t” as she lifted herself off Larry and stood up.  Larry rolled to the side exhaling in relief that there was no longer any stimulus to his penis.  Gissell stood on the bed and placed her foot on Larry’s chest easing him back onto his back and applying her weight on Larry’s chest and said, “I know what you did today.  You may think you’re a badass but you are no match for me and I will never be afraid of you.”

                Larry was confused.  At no point did Larry think this was even a possibility but went with it anyway.  Gissell got dressed and left the hotel room and went home.  The next morning, Larry went to the airport red eyed and boarded his plane to New York. 

Soha never told his family where he was going.   Nobody at the dance hall was able to tell them anything about Soha as he wasn’t on any guest lists.  The cops were only turned on to it because they found his cell phone in the parking lot.  Soha’s car was towed from the location and given that it was dropped off late at night nobody saw anything.  Soha’s family didn’t even think about Jenn’s family being “people that wanted to hurt Soha.” Their relationship was five years ago and Jenn was out of sight out of mind.  As far as they knew, it wasn’t a bad breakup.  Since the cops had nothing to go on, the trail got cold really fast.  They could only keep the case on file and hope to get lucky in the future. 

                Larry spent a month waiting for something to happen before he relaxed.  If nobody was on to him yet, then surely it wasn’t going to happen.  Nobody in Effie’s family would rat Larry out especially because nobody was asking them questions.  Everyone knew that objectively Soha didn’t really deserve to die but Jenn was family so objectivity wasn’t on their mind.  The only wild card was Kenan.

                Kenan became a lot sappier with Jenn.  He told her he loved her slightly more often than he had before but really he treated her extremely well even before the baptism, so there wasn’t really more he could do.  He had a fleeting Larryry that if he went to the cops, he could eliminate Larry from ever hurting him.  Then he decided that Jenn would be really mad at him for it and it may cost him their relationship.  He didn’t want to do anything to hurt Jenn or risk losing her.  In the end, he realized it was an unnecessary risk, he had no intention of ever hurting her.  The days following the baptism, he asked Jenn to tell him what Soha did.  Jenn told him and Kenan decided that it was something he would never do.  It just seemed so egotistical and unnecessary.  Larry’s threat was always in the back of his mind but it was buried and placed slightly above the other six or seven threats he received.  The number of threats didn’t matter; all he had to do was be himself and continue to do what he was doing.  Larry was never questioned about Soha’s disappearance.