Russian Aggression

                It was Valentines Day in New York.  A holiday that most women love and men try to appease the woman in their life with their plans.  For single people, however, Valentines Day is annoying.  Even if they wanted to go out to eat, restaurants are all jammed packed and PDA is sure to occur.  Vonnie Yankolov had a solution to this problem.  She was going to throw a singles-only Valentines Day party at her parent’s apartment in Fort Lee, NJ.  Her parents had agreed to stay with their eldest daughter while Vonnie threw the party.  Vonnie was in her first year at New York University, and since she had lived at home, she was able to keep in touch with old friends from home while making new ones in college.  The party was a mixture of the two groups, and Vonnie hoped that everyone would mix well.  Some people, however, just don’t mix.

                Larry had met Vonnie at school and quickly hit it off with her in a plutonic way.  She had quickly climbed his list of best friends and sat at the top in just a few months.  Although Larry would say that he is the most consistent person when it comes to his actions and attitudes, with Vonnie especially he held nothing back.  This is why she was his best friend, because he didn’t have to watch his mouth or inhibit his actions around her.  He was free to do and act as he saw fit.  It’s because of this that he readily agreed to Vonnie’s single-only party.  He wasn’t someone to always have a plan when he went somewhere he just took things as they happened and saw where he’d end up.  Although this almost always made for good stories, it sometimes placed him in situations he’d rather avoid.

                Vladimir was a fellow-Russian friend of Vonnie’s.  He was a few years older than her but Vonnie’s going to college had not affected their friendship, he often times came down to NYU to have dinner or drinks with Vonnie and see how she was doing offering any advice as he saw fit having just finished college himself.  Like everyone else at the party, Vladimir became extremely drunk as the night went on and he quickly avoided standing so as to maintain his balance.  He had noticed Larry go into Vonnie’s parent’s bedroom with a girl and from what he heard from various people who had gone in there, they were hooking up.  This didn’t really concern Vladimir as he expected that at a party, much more, a singles-only party, that some people would end up matching up even if it were just for a night.  A while later, he saw the person he had met previously as Larry walk out looking completely disheveled and exhausted.  Ironically, the girl had not come out with him.  Larry immediately sat down at the table Vladimir also happened to be at and Vladimir decided to strike up a conversation.  He said, “Did you have fun in there?” to which Larry responded just by nodding but had a blank expression on his face so Vladimir continued, “did you fuck her?”

                “No, she passed out.”

                Vladimir glared at Larry and decided to help this guy out, “So?  Go back in there and finish the job”

                Larry looked up and suddenly the blank expression was no longer there and he was glaring at him. “No, I’m not going to do that” he said rather forcefully.

                “Why not man?”
                “That’s called rape”

                “No it’s not, she obviously wanted it if she was hooking up with you before, so just go back in there and finish it, nobody will know.”

                Larry rose and snapped, “What the fuck is a matter with you?!”

                Vladimir raised his hands a bit and replied, “Alright Alright, do what you want.”

                Not too long later, the girl Larry had been with, awoke with no recollection of what happened.  She started crying and given that Vonnie already had to deal with one girl who was crying because she lost her virginity, naturally assumed that she’d have to go through it again.  As she walked into the hallway, Vonnie looked over at Larry and decided to diffuse what she thought might be a volatile situation before it started and told Larry to go into the parent’s bedroom and go to sleep so that she could deal with her and the other girl who had been crying.  Larry was more than happy to agree, not because it was 5AM and he had an early morning flight the next day or avoiding facing the girl he just hooked up with, but if he spoke to Vladimir any longer, he may resort to blows for implying that he should have raped his partner.

                The next day Larry left Vonnie’s house before anyone had awoken and flew to Columbus, Ohio not knowing what would happen when he returned.  He hadn’t said anything to the girl since they hooked up and Vladimir ended up passing out in the bathroom. 

                Five and a half years after that singles-only Valentines Day party nothing seemed to have changed.  Vladimir seemed to have forgotten about that night and was unaware that Larry was still mad at him for suggesting that he rape his now close friend.  Although Larry and Vonnie didn’t see each other too often, their friendship didn’t seem to fade.  It was more a matter that they both had the same personality trait of not thinking to call people.  To them, friends were really out of sight, out of mind.  It bothered both of them, but when they did see each other, they often picked up right where they left off.  This was especially true around Larry’s birthday, because Vonnie would always plan it.  She took birthdays very seriously and knew that Larry hated his birthday because he believed that bad things always happened.  For the last four out of five years since they’d known each other, Vonnie had always succeeded in giving Larry a good birthday.  The one year that Larry didn’t enjoy it, was the birthday he had planned himself.  Vonnie had realized that she hadn’t seen most of her friends in a while so she decided to have a party just to see everyone again.  The party was to take place at Vonnie’s apartment in Tribeca.  It was a first floor apartment that had access to a small garden in the back, which Vonnie had utilized to plant many plants and flowers as it relaxed her to walk outside to flowers after a long day of work in a barren Manhattan concrete jungle.  She still considered Larry her best male friend and would be on his side if any disputes were to arise.  She had forgotten that Larry hated Vladimir so saw no reason why not to invite both of them to the party.  Vladimir had a girlfriend currently named Tatiana who was a 5’6” blond haired Ukrainian who had moved to New York from the Midwest.  Vladimir had introduced Larry to Tatiana and given that they both grew up in the Midwest (Larry was raised in Cleveland, Ohio) they used that as an ice breaker and continued from there.  As alcohol was consumed, Vladimir and Tatiana had gone to the bathroom together.  Larry was sitting off to the side as he was kind of antisocial and enjoyed people watching more than actively participating in festivities.  Tatiana came over to him and sat down and he and her began talking.  Tatiana told him that she had gone to the bathroom and Vladimir wanted to hook up but she didn’t think it was right to do that in the bathroom of someone’s house whom she didn’t know so she pushed him away and ran out.  Larry was incredulous with the story.  He had found out that Vladimir and Tatiana lived together so her denying his advances didn’t really make much sense to him.  What made even less sense was that Tatiana was telling him the story given that they had just met that night.  Larry only responded, “In five seconds, Vladimir will be back here.” 

                He wasn’t really sure why he said that, but Tatiana rattled off “1-2-3-4-5” as fast as she could say it.

                Larry held up five fingers and counted down in real seconds, when he got to one, Vladimir walked over to them.  He was coming from behind Larry and smacked him on the back of the head and said, “What the fuck are you doing?  You hitting on my girl?”

                Larry turned around and said calmly, “No, but if you want to go outside and discuss this, let’s go” as he rose and headed toward the door to the garden always turning to ensure Vladimir wasn’t going for a blind side attack.  What was conspicuous to Larry was that Tatiana was doing nothing to stop Vladimir, she followed closely behind him as they went outside.  When they were both in the garden, Larry turned toward Vladimir relishing the moment that he would finally get to fight him.  Vladimir lunged forward to shove Larry and yelled out, “You want to hit on my girl?” so the crowd knew what the fight was about.  Larry brought his right arm down and his left arm up chopping Vladimir’s arms away and since his right hand was now cocked at his side, and Vladimir’s arms were in no position to defend himself Larry drove his right palm up into Vladimir’s nose bloodying it.  Vladimir backed up a couple of steps from the blow holding his nose.  He came back quickly with a punch that Larry blocked and then he grabbed Vladimir by the head bringing it down.  This was a mistake Larry often employed in street fights.  He was very accustomed to wrestling thus striking, as is needed in street fighting, was not his instinctive reaction.  Vladimir was stronger than Larry thus despite being in the headlock he was able to drive Larry back into the fence on the opposite wall but Larry had maintained his grip.  Vladimir punched away at Larry midsection hoping he’d break the hold.  Larry kept downward pressure on his neck trying to force Vladimir down, finally he drove his knee up catching Vladimir in the midsection.  Vladimir dropped to his knees but reached his hand up and drove his thumb into Larry’s eye.  Larry tried moving his head to spring loose but Vladimir had his thumb locked in so Larry released the hold to use his hand to pull Vladimir’s hand away.  This temporarily blinded him and gave Vladimir the opening he needed as he punched Larry in the stomach a couple times ending it with a punch to the face.  Larry turned his head as he anticipated the punch so that Vladimir would punch the back of his skull.  He knew it would hurt, but it could potentially crack Vladimir’s knuckles or break his wrist depending on how hard he punched.  As Larry acquired his bearings, Vladimir was shaking his wrist.  Larry lunged forward and tackled Vladimir to the ground and punched away at his face.  Vladimir deflected most of the momentum from the blows by putting his arms around his face and wrapped his legs around Larry’s waist squeezing trying to suffocate him.  Larry was able to lower Vladimir’s legs slightly enough so that that his pelvis absorbed the pressure but high enough so that Vladimir wouldn’t notice the futility of the effort.  Vladimir reached up and wrapped his hands around Larry’s neck and squeezed choking him.  Larry jabbed connecting with his nose again forcing Vladimir to release his grip.  Larry got up and started coughing.  Vladimir rose to his feet and charged at Larry, Larry fell to the side sticking his right leg out and kicking at the Vladimir’s Achilles Heel with his left tripping him over the right and onto his stomach.  Larry pounced on top of Vladimir and grabbed him by the hair and repeatedly slammed his face into the ground.  Vladimir put out his hands to try to push himself up but Larry brought his arms underneath Vladimir’s and put him in a full nelson giving him free reign to drive his face repeatedly into the ground. 

As Vladimir lost consciousness, Larry felt a kick to the side of head knocking him off Vladimir.  He rolled around to see who was kicking him and saw Tatiana ignore Vladimir and head right for him.  She drove her knee into Larry’s face before he could register what was going on.  Larry rolled away from Tatiana and leaned toward a pursuing Tatiana wrapping his arms around her legs and rising with her slouching over his shoulder.  Larry contemplated snapping the top half of her body to the ground but he was vehemently against hitting girls and just couldn’t bring himself to do it.  Tatiana struggled immensely pounding at Larry’s back trying to push herself up to a vertical base.  Larry couldn’t hold on much longer and instead of slamming her down she dropped back on her feet only to be met by a slap to the face.  Larry backed up for defensive purposes and blocked a wide range of punches and kicks from Tatiana unsure how long he could keep it up.  He was a bit wary from the fight and the two kicks to the head plus Tatiana was at full strength reduced his chances.  If Larry could bring himself to fight back, he may have stood a chance, but since his morality stopped him, this could be very embarrassing and end very badly for Larry.  In the corner of his eye, Larry saw a slim figure come out of the crowd.  His peripherals could only make out that it was a woman, but he wasn’t sure if it was friend or foe as the majority of his concentration was on Tatiana’s four limbs coming at him.  The figure then kicked Tatiana in the midsection causing her to lean over in pain.  Larry turned toward his rescuer to see Vonnie in a fighting stance.  Vonnie prided herself on having very powerful legs, and Larry knew that she had connected well with one of her powerful legs and Tatiana was feeling the effects of it.  Larry backed off to catch his breath and became a part of the crowd, whose attention was now on Vonnie and Tatiana.  Tatiana stood to full height, which was some three inches taller than Vonnie still showing obvious signs of pain.  Vonnie, slapped her across the face and taunted, “You want to start a fight in my apartment bitch?!”

                Tatiana came back with a slap of her own, which only seemed to anger Vonnie more.  One thing Vonnie hated was people touching her face, and a slap was the biggest form of disrespect you could show and she was not going to tolerate anyone slapping her in her home.  She punched Tatiana in the solar plexus and then grabbed on to Tatiana’s hair to stop her from peeling over again.  Vonnie dragged Tatiana by the hair and slammed her face first into the fence.  Vonnie then yanked back tripping Tatiana over her extended knee and stomped away at Tatiana’s midsection taunting her, “You want to slap me, you fucking bitch!”

                When Vonnie tired, she spit on Tatiana and said, “A little harder when someone hits back isn’t it?”

                She turned toward some of her other male friends and told them to get Vladimir and Tatiana out of her apartment, to which they agreed.  Larry went up to Vonnie and said, “Damn Vonnie, not bad”

                Vonnie shook her head and said, ‘Shut up Larry, you fought in my house too, I’m just glad you took it outside, that’s the only reason you’re still here.”

                “You couldn’t have been completely against it, if you fought for me buddy.”

                Vonnie gave Larry a look of contempt which only made him smile wider.  She asked, “Will you ever grow up and start acting like a man?  You’re so immature” she then changed her tone to a mocking tone “ehhh Cat fight” waving her arms and rolling her eyes.

                “No”

                Vonnie finally managed to smile and said, “Well then how does it feel that you couldn’t take on a woman by yourself?  How’s your ego now?”

                Larry’s eyes widened but his smile never faded and responded, “I know right? thank God I have female friends or else I would have been really humiliated, thanks Vonnie monster” using her nickname that Larry had blatantly stolen from when he and Vonnie saw Avenue Q together.”

                Vonnie decided it was no use arguing back so she would just play along, she was over what happened, there was no damage to her house, Vladimir and Tatiana were escorted outside and people were going about their business.  She waved a finger at Larry and said, “Be careful, I won’t always be there to protect you.”

                Larry then hugged Vonnie and Vonnie pushed him away and said, “Ewww, you’re all sweaty and you got a bloody nose, wash yourself up and then hug me.”

                Larry laughed as he went into the bathroom to wash his face and then had a couple more drinks.  After everyone who was not going to spend the night had left, Larry took a shower and then shared a bed with Vonnie.  This was a common occurrence in their beginning years of college but hadn’t happened in a while.  As they slept Larry couldn’t help but feeling a bit of nostalgia for he really had missed the friendship that Larry and Vonnie had while in college.  The next day they went off their separate ways unknowing when they would meet again since neither of them were very good callers.